Accepting Where You Are When It Isn’t What You Wanted (Stewarding Your Season #2)

I never thought I would still be a stay-at-home mom at this point. When Wesley was born, I always imagined him going to daycare and me pursuing a career once he turned a year old. But one year came and went, and I chose to continue to stay home with him.

And to be honest, that decision has been really hard on me.

These days, I often find myself wondering what am I even doing with my life? I have such strong passions and dreams, and yet I’m still spending my days with my 15 month old. I long for a career and going into the office. My book dreams are at the forefront of my mind. Motherhood is my primary job today, but what about my other callings and giftings?

I’m continuing to trust that if this is where God has me, there must be purpose in it. If this is the decision we made as a family and we knew God was in it, it must have been for a reason. I’m planting seeds and tilling the soil until the flourishing comes.

I’ve accepted that this season right now is a necessary one–even if it isn’t what I wanted.

The Present Is All We Have

Once we’ve understood and named our current season, our next step is to accept it. Most of us wish we were somewhere else in life. We wish for different careers, to go on a vacation, or to have children. Some of us wish we could revive a lost relationship or go back to an old home or job. 

I know I find myself longing for things that have been long gone. But I also find myself wishing for the future at times. I wonder what things will be like when I have a career again or when Wesley is in school. Life often moves too slow for our liking.

But the truth is, the present is all we really have. The choices we make now impact our future. And the way we live the season we are in now shapes our future too. Even if our current season is one that we would never choose, we still have to accept that it’s where we are now. We have to remember that God is the author of our lives. He’s holding the trail map, and He’s writing it out. It’s our job to follow the map, living each moment presently and with purpose.

Accepting Where We Are

When I think about accepting where we are, I think about being okay with our circumstances. I imagine an attitude of complete trust and surrender. I imagine showing God gratitude for what he’s given, even if it’s not something we wanted or knew we needed. Accepting where we are comes with an attitude of humility as we lay down our own agendas and need for control. It’s an active heart-change and attitude shift. 

We have to accept where we are before we can live it well or live it better. We cannot steward the life we’ve been given well when we’re too busy wishing it away. Instead, we have to take what we’ve been given and use it for God’s glory. 

Where you are right now is all part of God’s master plan for your life. When you accept that this season is a necessary one in your faith journey, you will begin to see all the ways that God is working things out for you right here and now.

But how do we accept where we are, especially if it isn’t what we wanted?

We practice gratitude for what we have, even when it’s hard.

Gratitude is a spiritual discipline I come back to often. It’s the act of thanking God for what he has given and done for us. Even when it’s hard to thank God today, look for the little things, the small pieces of goodness that still exist. Sometimes it’s just the soft breeze or the dandelions in the grass. Begin thanking God for his good gifts, and soon you will be able to see his hand in everything.

We give control back to God.

It’s hard to accept where we are when we’re trying to be in control of our lives. Sometimes, we can even believe that we’ve failed because we aren’t where we thought we would be. But God is in control of the universe, not us. We cannot will for things to be a certain way and make it happen. When we give control back to God, we are giving him permission to continue being in control. It takes the pressure off of us and puts control back where it belongs.

We take on an attitude of surrender.

When we give control back to God, it’s easier to take on an attitude of surrender. To me, surrender looks like open-handed living. It’s living in such a way that we are open to what God is doing in our lives and allowing the Spirit to guide us. You can read more about open-handed living in a blog post from last summer here.

We lay down our own agendas and expectations.

I’ve always been someone that has high expectations. For most of my life, it’s served me well. It’s helped me keep my standards high and stick to my morals when making decisions. But it’s also led to a lot of disappointment when life turns out differently than I planned or expected. I’ve learned that it’s important to have some expectations and plans, but we have to be open to what God could do. We have to allow room for God to work. We have to be willing to set aside our own agendas and expectations so God’s can be the ones that guide our lives.

When we are able to accept where we are, we are better able to steward this season of life. I pray that you are encouraged in knowing that God doesn’t make mistakes. There are no accidents with God. He has you where you are for a specific purpose at this specific time.