Embracing Transitional Seasons

God has a way of giving us big blessings all at once. Over the last month and a half, I started a new job, we bought a house, and we moved into our new house. While all of these are answers to prayers we’ve been praying for years, they each played a role in launching us into a season of transition. These in-between seasons are often times where we find ourselves in a funk. Our routines need to be adjusted, and our rhythms are all out of sorts. The adjustment can be rough. 

My son Wesley is a good example of this right now. We’ve lived in our new house for almost 3 weeks, and he still gets upset when we drive by the exit to our old apartment. He gets confused about where we’re going sometimes because it’s a different way than before. He also has been much more emotional about small inconveniences, likely because he’s a toddler with big feelings, but also because everything seems so confusing for him right now. Wesley has certainly been adjusting much slower than my husband and I.

The adjustment has been huge for us too. We have had to make changes to our schedules, and we even had to sell our old slightly unreliable car and get a newer one for David to drive to work. He has to get up earlier in the mornings in order to make it to work on time, and I’ve had to readjust my entire life due to my new job and our move. It all felt chaotic for a while, but the routines and rhythms we’re building are starting to feel more normal for us.

Learning to Embrace the In-Between

We all will face transition at some point in life, and sometimes, like my experience, it’s many changes all at once. In these in-between places, we can choose to be present and embrace all that this transitional season holds, or we can lose ourselves in the chaos and unknowns. I’m still right in the middle of this transition, but I’ve found a few ways that we can fully embrace transitional seasons:

Name and accept this new season for what it is rather than what you wish it was.

When we are able to name the season we’re in and accept, we’re able to move forward. This practice has helped me tremendously in my pursuit of living more intentionally where I’m at. Especially in transitions, we need to accept that we’re in a time of major change, and that’s okay. This season has purpose, and God is with us every step of the way.

Pay attention to the natural rhythms of this new season to assess what fits, what doesn’t, and what’s a priority that you need to make room for.

While it’s only been about three weeks since we’ve lived in this house, I’ve definitely learned what rhythms are going to come naturally for me, which ones don’t fit, and which ones I will need to work hard to maintain. It’s easy for me to coordinate getting Wesley and I to where we need to be each day. It’s easy for me to get our lunches together and to remember everything that needs to be done in the morning. I’m also finding it easy to wake up earlier in the morning because I know that when I take my time to get ready, I feel more put together and clear headed throughout the day.

But do you want to know what doesn’t fit as naturally? It’s finding time to write, making time (and motivation) to exercise, finding space for studying scripture, and creating good habits around prayer. It’s always the things that will benefit us the most that we struggle to fit into our already busy routines. It’ll continue to be a work in progress in the coming months to make these priorities permanent in my new routine.

Keep your eyes open for the ways God is present and moving in this transitional season. 

Something I’ve been working on over the last few years is keeping my eyes wide open for God. The days when I am actively looking for God are the days when I experience the most peace. And let’s be honest, we need peace more than anything in our transitions. I have to remind myself daily that God is active and working in my midst. I have to rely on Him during this tumultuous time of changes for our family. When my eyes are open, I see Him working all things out on my behalf. 

The other evening, I sat out on our patio when David took Wesley in for his bath and just relished in the breeze. The leaves blew, our grass that needed to be mowed swayed, and the setting sun turned shades of orange and pink. It was in that moment of having my eyes wide open that I remembered that this was what I had been praying for: a home to call my own, a backyard for Wesley to run in, and space to host our friends and family. Even in the transition, God reminds us of his faithfulness to us.

Give yourself grace and be patient with yourself. This is a time of change, and all changes bring natural anxieties and growing pains. 

To be honest, the first week that we lived in our new house, I had regrets about it. I thought we had made a huge mistake, and I missed our apartment more than I thought I would. Seeing Wesley so emotional, all of our things in boxes, and having to fix up more than we expected, I felt overwhelmed. That entire week, I found myself snapping at Wesley and getting frustrated about every little thing. I even doubted my dream of publishing a book and my writing abilities because I didn’t see how I would ever have time to write ever again. 

While this was wildly dramatic of me, we have to acknowledge that big changes come with big feelings, and sometimes those feelings can carry us away. We have to give ourselves grace, be patient with ourselves, and accept that transitions come with some big changes. Those changes will bring about all sorts of feelings, and it’s okay to feel them. It’s just not okay to sit in them for too long or allow them to hold us back from all that God is trying to teach us in this season. Be kind to yourself in your transitional seasons. This is a lesson I’m still learning.

As I Go

As I write this, I have a cat on my lap and Wesley is asleep in his room. My favorite candle is lit, and the sun is brightening up our living room. It’s these simple moments in our new home that remind me that this is exactly what we prayed for. We had offers on multiple homes that were passed over. It took us two years to find this home that we now call ours, and we’re thankful now that God saw a better plan for us. 

So, knowing that God has us in this transition and that this is all through his faithfulness and provision, I’m walking this in-between season with grace, building new rhythms as I go. I can’t wait to see all that God is going to do.

The Water Crossings of Life

David and I began our hike with our packs strapped tightly to our backs. Mine contained everything I would need for our overnight stay at our remote campsite: clothes, freeze dried food, two water bottles, a sleeping bag and pad, and a camping pillow. David’s pack carried our tent and his belongings. 

As we trekked along the trail, we came up on a water crossing. We had studied the map and knew that we would have to cross the river on the way to our campsite, so we came prepared with our waterproof hiking boots. We looked for the best way across, but even the best way across meant dipping our toes in the water at some points. There was no way across that left us entirely dry.

Water crossings along hikes always remind me of the difficult situations and seasons we face in life. Most times, our life is filled with the beauty of the trees and the sun beams falling through the openings in the leaves, but then we come up on the seemingly impassable. We face obstacles, challenges, and trials that seem impossible to get to the other side of. But in my 29 years of life, I’ve learned that there’s always a way across: even if it’s uncomfortable, unlikely, or downright unexpected. And we will never make it to the other side entirely unscathed.

My Own Water Crossing

My water crossings have been both deep and shallow. If you know me personally and know my story then you know that I’ve faced various challenges in my life. We all have from experiencing heartbreaks, loss, life changes, mental health struggles, and financial hardship. I’ve overcome obstacles, but it wasn’t always pretty or heroic. Sometimes it involved slipping on rocks and finding myself entirely submerged. For most of my life, my trials have gotten the best of me.

Over the last few years, I’ve made it a point to walk in the wilderness of life rather than through it. That was the whole premise of this blog I created nearly three years ago. I still feel the temptation to rush through the hardships and the challenges. Amid beginning a new job and living out of boxes as we begin our move into our new house, I’m feeling that pull toward wishing away where I’m at. It feels mundane and it also feels hard. It’s like standing on an unsteady rock in the middle of a rushing river. 

The water crossing I find myself facing today isn’t unbearable or impassable, but it’s certainly causing me to readjust my mindset and look for a better way across. It reminds me that I’m not in control as the current rushes toward me. Perhaps that’s what God intends for us as we face trials and challenges: He wants us to look for him in the midst of all of it and trust him to guide us across, for he’s the only one who can calm the wind and waves.

Facing Our Water Crossings

In the middle of the river with my hiking backpack, I found that there are three ways that we can face the water crossings in life:

1. We can come prepared for potential challenges in life.

2. We can utilize what we have in order to face them.

3. We can trust God to fill in the gaps.

We come prepared by remembering God’s truth in his Word and his promises to us. We hold firm to his truth and the truth of his character in being sovereign over all things and loving toward us. I often think of coming prepared as remembering things such as my waterproof hiking boots or first aid kit. It would be a lot harder to face literal water crossings and treks through the woods without them, just as it would be to face hardship without the truth of God’s word and character.

We utilize what we have by using our knowledge and prior experience to face trials head on. We remember all that God has done for us in the past and move forward from that knowledge. Just as a hiker uses makeshift tools to stay alive, we can use what we have to move forward in hardship.

We trust God to fill in the gaps when we fall short. Even if we lose our footing and what we thought was the best way across turns out to be more challenging than we thought, God gives us the strength and the wisdom to prevail, step by step.

Unexpected Beauty

As we reached the other side of the river, we immediately saw a cardinal gliding with the breeze, beauty we never would have seen if we hadn’t faced the water crossing head on. I believe that’s what God intends by allowing us to face trials in this life: to bring us closer to the beauty and goodness that we never would have experienced otherwise. He gives us glimpses into heaven and the glory that exists beyond this life. He carries us gently across the rough terrain so we may know Him and His goodness deeper than ever before.

Our water crossings – our trials and challenges – are not meant to hinder us; they are meant to bring us closer to God and closer to the person of Jesus. As we face our inevitable hardships in this life, let’s put on our waterproof hiking boots, step carefully along the rocks, and trust that God has our back in the middle of the river. He’s right there, our perfect Trail Guide.

Why Does God Give Us Hard Seasons?

As the most difficult season of my life raged on, I attempted to stay afloat white-knuckled and desperate for God to draw this time to an end. All I saw was darkness around me, and I was overcome with my emotions of grief and hopelessness. I didn’t see any way out. Why would God give me a season so riddled with pain and intense hardship?

We’ve all experienced seasons of life where we struggle to keep our footing. Our circumstances are overwhelmingly painful and difficult to face. Overcome by grief and heartache, we are barely surviving. Whether we are experiencing loss, tragedy, doubt, or all the above, we find ourselves wondering why a loving, good God would allow us to experience such heartbreak. We wonder why we experience difficult seasons at all.

As I look back on my life, I can see the multiple places where I’ve asked this question. These were the places where I saw no path forward, was in the pit of depression, and was nursing my wounds. I wanted to experience the peace and kindness of God, not the pain that comes from this world’s ways. I came to the conclusion that if God was all powerful and all knowing then my hardships and seasons of utter darkness had to mean something. There had to be a purpose behind them, and while I knew that I would not gain black and white answers from God, I knew he would answer me in some way.

Suffering as Christ Did

God did not promise us a pain-free life. He did not guarantee that we would walk this life unscathed. He also did not promise that we would be free from all hardship, challenge, and difficulty. So why do we act like He did?

So many of us (myself included) live our lives almost surprised when we face trials or angry with God when we experience difficulty. I think it’s a natural human reaction to feel these things, but we have to remember that our lives in this world will not be free from suffering. This is especially true if we are living our lives for God.

The Bible tells us that if we follow Christ we will suffer as he did (Romans 8:17, 2 Cor. 1:5, Philippians 1:29). It’s sort of a non-negotiable for Christians that our lives will include some suffering because Jesus suffered too. His people rejected Him. They didn’t recognize who He was. He was humiliated and killed. But His suffering was the ultimate suffering—dying on a cross for you and me.

That’s not to say that our suffering is not as important. It certainly is because it impacts the ways in which we live, connect with others, and connect with God. But we have to remember that Jesus paid the ultimate price. Our suffering comes with living for Him. And it’s what we do with our difficult seasons that really matters. 

How do we live out our difficult seasons knowing that our suffering has purpose? And after all, why does God give us those seasons to begin with?

Why?

I would like to preface this by saying that I acknowledge that I do not have all the answers. I simply have hope and confidence in a God that has divine purpose for all that he allows within this world. 

My belief in God is strongly followed by a belief that he works out all things for our good, but that does not mean that what is good for us will be all rainbows and butterflies. When I say that I believe that He works all things out for our good I mean that the good He sees for us may include some challenges and trials because it will only grow us into Christlikeness. It will shape us into the people He wants us to become. It will form us into people that are more reliant on Him and more resilient as we come upon future hardship. 

God’s idea of what is best for us looks nothing like what we think is best for us. And looking back on my life and decisions I made and things that I thought were what I wanted, I am so thankful that God knows better than I do. He has protected me so much, but He has also called me to walk through the fire to protect me from myself.

So, to answer the question “why does God give us hard seasons?”, here is the answer I have come up with from my own personal experiences and directly from Scripture.

God gives us hard seasons to:

1. Draw us closer to God

2. Teach us a lesson we wouldn’t learn otherwise*

3. Give us an opportunity to deepen our trust in God

4. Help us build endurance of faith (Romans 5:3)

5. Cause us to rely on God’s strength instead of our own (2 Corinthians 1:10)

6. Teach us humility (the entire book of Job)

7. Spur us on toward Christlikeness/To grow us (James 1:2-4)

8. Build resilience in our spiritual walk

Ultimately, God allows us to experience difficult seasons because it is for our betterment and for his glory. And while we will not always have the answers or see the fruit on this side of heaven, I still believe that God is the ultimate way maker. He is making good out of our most difficult circumstances and our in our darkest seasons.

If you are facing a difficult season today, know that God is with you right where you stand. He is working on your behalf. Allow Him to carry you during this season and trust that He is making a way.

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*I want to be very clear that I do not believe that the only reason we experience suffering is to learn a lesson from God. God does not “teach us a lesson” as a punishment from an angry God. The lessons we learn are how to rely on God’s strength, build endurance, etc. For example, in 2 Cor. 12:7-10, Paul asks to be delivered from his suffering, but God is teaching him a lesson in relying on His strength, which Paul does in his suffering. This is what I mean by learning a lesson through our difficult seasons. This article explains my line of thinking about this idea very well.

What Gardening Taught Me About Intentional Living

As we enter into the colder season here in Texas, my patio garden is beginning to end its blooming season. Most plants are ready for harvest, although for my bell peppers and jalapenos, the time for flourishing is right now. The peppers will be ready for harvesting in the coming weeks.

I’ve already harvested my thyme and sage, and the rosemary will come next. The blooms on my vincas and petunias are coming to a halt, ready for their winter rest. My strawberry begonia and asparagus fern are growing steadily, grateful for the cooler weather. The lemon tree is growing steadily and growing stronger as it prepares to eventually bear fruit. And my Chinese hibiscus is getting ready for its last few blooms to fall.

Caring for my patio garden has taught me many lessons this year, many of which remind me of our faith journey. The way the plants change with the seasons reminds me that we all change with the seasons as well. We all have seasons that are good for growth, while others are a kind of hibernation or dormancy. Sometimes we even endure seasons of pruning. 

But most of all, caring for this garden reminds me that no two people or plants are exactly the same. We all have our own needs when it comes to being filled spiritually (or with water or sunlight). Each person connects with God in such a unique way. And every person has been given a purpose from God that can’t compare with those around them. 

Gardening–even on a patio–has been spiritual for me, as I have the honor to bring forth new life. I also have the responsibility of taking away life through pruning and harvest. But even in the pain, flourishing comes forth. There is flourishing in the breaking. Out of hibernation and pruning comes an even more fruitful plant (and person). In my care of my garden, I’m reassured that God looks after us in this way too, meeting our individual needs right where we are.

Of the many lessons I’ve learned from my patio garden, these are the ones that have impacted my heart the most:

There are seasons for planting, growing, pruning, and hibernating.

Planting Seasons

Last spring, I planted herbs and purchased small bell pepper plants. I also purchased a new asparagus fern, a strawberry begonia, and a lemon tree. My petunias and vincas were gifted to me. I found the perfect planters and soil, laid the seeds and small plants in them, and continued to nurture them until they started to grow. 

Just as in gardening, we are given specific seasons in life where we are called to plant seeds. God gives us the specific words to give to others, and he guides us as we do so. I’ve found that mothering a small infant or toddler is sometimes a planting season. The fruit isn’t evident quite yet, but we are constantly planting seeds by showing love, demonstrating how to do things, and teaching obedience. Planting seasons have their place in the circle of life. There will never be growth if a seed wasn’t planted first—and sometimes, the seed that grows isn’t even one we knew we planted.

Growing Seasons

As I continued to nurture my plants, ensuring that they had the right amount of water and sunlight, they began to grow. The petunias and vincas bloomed all summer long. The herbs grew quickly, leaving a fragrant smell in their wake. My baby lemon tree continued to grow stronger branches and new large leaves, preparing for fruit someday. Now, in the cooler weather, the peppers are finally growing and thriving.

While we grow in every season of life we encounter, I believe that God sometimes places us in seasons where he is encouraging us to grow exponentially. He provides challenges and just the right conditions to help us learn more about Him and His ways in this world. God nurtures us and gives us what we need so that we can grow spiritually.

Pruning Seasons

The fall months means that the pruning season for most of my garden is here. I’ve already begun to harvest my herbs and cut back my petunias. After the peppers are harvested, I’ll cut back again on those plants too. When I rescued the Chinese hibiscus from my apartment complex’s dumpster, I pruned it way back because it needed some major encouragement.

We all have experienced pruning seasons in life where something is taken away or we have to rid ourselves of something that is holding us back from a deeper life. Pruning my plants reminds me that there is always flourishing that comes from the breaking. Pruning is not done without purpose or the long haul in mind. Welcome God’s pruning, knowing that there is a purpose for it.

Hibernating Seasons

We will soon be entering into winter, and once we do, most of my patio plants will enter a type of hibernation or dormancy. None of my plants grow very much in the winter, but it’s still an important season. They need time to rest and soak in nutrients that will benefit them once the growing season comes. They need to heal from being pruned. Their hibernation impacts their future growth.

I believe the same is true for us. I often find myself in a season of hibernation when the winter comes. Life slows down. It’s a season of growing and learning right where we’re at and storing up that knowledge for later use. Hibernation seasons may seem slow and without purpose, but the growth we experience within them will shoot through the soil when the growing season comes.

We can’t compare our journey or growth with anyone else’s. 

While the growing season for most of my plants was the summer months, my peppers are just now beginning to grow. They thrive in the cooler weather, and they had to wait until it was their turn. While they were still in hibernation, the plants around them were in their growing season. But they didn’t allow that to discourage them from flourishing in their own time.

When I think about my peppers and their journey, I’m reminded that we are all on our own journey in life. We often feel tempted to compare our lives with someone else’s, our low points to their high points. But we were not made to be like everyone else. When we remember that we are all made uniquely with our own individual growing seasons, we can live out our own journey even better. It’s not fair to compare our growth with anyone else other than our past self.

The nutrients we require to survive won’t be the same as what the person next to you needs.

It’s funny to me whenever I see quotes that are like “we’re like houseplants but with more complicated emotions” or “even as humans we need water and sunlight to thrive” because they’re true. We all need our basic needs to be met (and water and sunlight definitely help a bad mood). But we have to remember that what we need in our faith journey is not going to be the same as what the person next to you or the person you follow on Instagram needs. 

Just as my peppers require cooler weather to finally grow, we each have specific needs when it comes to connecting with God, showing and receiving love, and being encouraged. And sometimes, it takes trial and error to see what works best for us. One plant may require an every day watering while another only needs water once every few weeks. It takes time and focus on our own journey to find out what we need to thrive.

In My Garden

As I harvest, begin to prune, and prepare my plants for the coming winter, I’m reminded of the intentionality it has taken to keep them alive. It’s taken diligence to water them on time, nurse them back to health after an encounter with a squirrel, and find the best care for each one. But it has been work worthwhile to watch them bloom.

Sometimes I wonder if God sees us that way too. He pursues us, pours into us, and guides us as we go. He gives us direction and cares for us in the ways that are individual and purposed for us. God is diligent in his pursuit and care of us. Maybe God sees this world as a garden in which everything grows in its time. We are his masterpiece, going through the changing seasons of the world, dark cold to warm light, seed to seedling to thriving tree. 

Gardening has shown me that my hands can create beauty by getting a little dirty first. It’s shown me that every season is part of the process and has purpose beyond what we could ever imagine. Day by day, we are growing, even if the growth isn’t visible to the eye quite yet. In my garden, God is with me. And He continues to open my eyes to His ways in the most ordinary of things. May your eyes be opened as you grow too.

Staying Connected to God in the Transitions of Life

Wesley started preschool on Monday. I promise that this blog isn’t becoming all about Wesley, mom life, and all that it entails. But this week taught me a lot about my faith journey and the season I find myself in today. A lot of it is because of this huge transition for our family.

I knew the transition would hit Wesley hard, as he has stayed home with me full time for his entire life. But the transition has been hard on me too—maybe even harder on me than it has been on Wesley.

I’m in a place of considering what’s next for me career-wise. I’m also learning what the writing life looks for me with this new routine. As we transitioned into this new schedule this week, I struggled to live well in this new season.

My Current Transition

When I dropped Wesley off at school, I didn’t really know what to do with my time. You know how we so often wish we had all the time to do all the things, but when we finally have that time we don’t know what to do with it? That was me all week. By the end of the five hours, I found myself wishing I had done several things that I hadn’t gotten done. I felt almost resentful about a few of my responsibilities because it had taken away from things that I felt mattered more.

Second, I found myself spending a lot of time wondering if this was the right decision. This is an extra expense we now have to pay even though I still don’t have a job lined up. When I dropped Wesley off on Wednesday morning, he attempted to run right out of the room and come back home with me. His tears broke this mama’s heart. His teacher assured me that he was totally fine soon after, but I went back and forth for a while about if this was the right thing.

And lastly, I struggled this week with finding a new rhythm. Everything I did felt out of step and super weird. Nothing quite fit. I also realized I had several things that I desired to do, but trying to squeeze them all in wasn’t going to be possible with this new routine. I had to pick and choose, which is sometimes difficult for me.

Staying Connected to God in the Transitions of Life

I know that transitions in life are hard. But as I stand on this bridge between one season and the next, I’m realizing that I need God now more than ever. As uncertainty looms and I seek to build new routines, I have to stay connected to God. This week, I was reminded of several ways to stay connected to God during times of transitions:

We have to look for pockets of time for prayer.

In times of transition, it’s often difficult to find a set prayer time. This week, I’ve been asking God to make me aware of those pockets of time where I can pray. It’s looked a lot like praying while driving to and from Wesley’s school. The 15 minute drive each way has been a great time for being alone with my thoughts and reaching out to God in prayer. But even as I go throughout my day, I’m trying to be more intentional about reaching out to God in prayer. It’s in the transitions of life where prayer becomes a bit of a lifeline. We can’t ignore it or allow it to be set aside.

We have to re-evaluate our priorities.

Halfway through this week I found myself feeling resentful about some of my tasks I’d been responsible for. I felt that they took away from my writing time. I was annoyed that I said yes to them. But after some time discussing this with my husband, I realized that I just needed to prioritize better and let go of some things. I have to put time with God and my writing time higher on the list so I don’t feel bitter or resentful later. This week has certainly been one of re-prioritizing everything in my life.

We have to test out new rhythms, habits, and routines.

Times of transition are a great time to test out some new habits or rhythms. They’ll feel a little clunky at first, but after some practice, you’ll be able to tell if it’s something that should stay or something that you can do without for this season. It’ll take a few weeks before I find the rhythms that work really well for this season. It’s going to be trial and error for a little while. But I have to make sure that the habits that stick around are ones that help me connect with God and add value to my life.

We have to do a heart check.

I’ve been giving myself a lot of heart checks this week. I’ve been continually asking myself if my feelings are rooted in God’s truth or my own discontent or bitterness. Transitions often bring out some intense emotions, and we have to be discerning. Ever since reading Brene Brown’s Rising Strong, I’m finding that I’m more intentional about looking for the root cause of my feelings. We have to continually check our hearts to ensure that we are listening for the things of God instead of allowing our own emotions and ideas run the show. 

We have to be all in, right here and now.

It can be really easy to check out and wait for what’s next during transitional seasons. And to be honest, that’s what I’m really tempted to do right now. I want to sit back and wait for my next journey. But I know that I can’t waste this season right now. There are too many opportunities to connect with God and grow within these days. I have to be all in, in this present moment.

When you feel yourself avoiding or wishing away the transitional space, bring yourself back to this exact moment. What do you see? What do you hear? How do you sense God speaking to you? Be all in, right here and now.

All In

The transitions of life—the space on the bridge between what used to be and what will be—are just here for a season. In the waiting, God is continuing to restore and renew us. Our transitions are an opportunity to trust God more in the unknowns of life.

So next week, Wesley will return to preschool. I’ll continue to pack his little lunchbox and toddler-sized backpack. He’ll probably continue to get a little sad when I drop him off. And I’ll still continue to wonder what comes next for me.

But I’ll keep going, all in, because I know that our transitions are the steps into a new journey. The transitions of life are full of unknowns and new opportunities. I want to experience it all, even when it’s hard.

Standing at the Door of the Unknown

I’ve never been good with the unknowns of life, which is funny considering how much of life and faith is unknown. The certainty is actually what’s dangerous for us. It’s in those places of being so certain that we forget to rely on God because we think we can do it ourselves. But in our uncertainty we learn to listen for God, partially out of pure selfishness because we want to know what comes next, but also because we know that his way is the best way. He’s the only thing that’s certain, even though he’s also a mystery.

Standing at the Door of the Unknown

I often fall apart with the uncertainties and mysteries of life. When I’m standing at the door of the next season unsure of what to do with it—do I knock, ring the doorbell, or walk away?—the uncertainty feels dangerous. It brings forth questions and feelings I didn’t even know were living inside of me. My pattern of running from uncertainty has a pretty good track record.

But this time, as I stand at that door, it’s different. The unknown isn’t leaving knots in my stomach or pain in my chest. It isn’t causing anxiety or making me question everything I’ve ever done. It just is. And sometimes, just letting the uncertainty exist without having to define every little thing in life is freeing. 

I don’t need to know what comes next just yet because I’m living fully in this present moment. I don’t need to know what the future holds or what my new job will be because God has figured out. My concern over the future and what my next moves will be doesn’t have to have a grip on me. The uncertainty has space to live with me, and I’m learning to let it settle in.

I can navigate the unknowns of life because I’m giving it room just be. Not everything needs a definition or words assigned to it. And even though I have no idea what I’m doing with my life when I enter a new season in three weeks, I know that God knows. That is always enough for me.

Uncertainty is not my enemy. It is my becoming.

Here is what I’m doing to navigate the unknowns as I prepare to walk into a new season with no path in front of me:

I’m redefining my questions.

Right now, a lot of my uncertainty stems from my job search. I don’t know what I want to do, which really isn’t much to go on. This is a massive reason why this next season is so uncertain for me. If I keep asking myself, “what do I want to do?” or “how are we going to pay for Wesley’s preschool?,” that isn’t very helpful. It just adds stress and causes me to spiral. 

But if I ask myself, “what are my goals with finding a job?” or “what characteristics am I looking for in a job?,” that’s a lot more helpful. Redefining our questions in times of uncertainty can help us make better decisions and create better reflection. I still don’t know what I want to do, but these questions are helping me as I work through that process.

I’m making a list of what I don’t want.

This might seem kind of strange, but I figure, if I don’t know what I want, I should make a list of things I know I don’t want. I know I don’t want a job that feels too robotic or distant from people. I don’t want something too far out of my areas of expertise. And I don’t want something that drains the life out of me. 

By making a list of the things I don’t want, I’ve been able to pinpoint some of the things I do want: helping people as a direct result of my work, staying in my areas of expertise but trying something new, and finding something that is rewarding. I may be uncertain about a lot of things still, but knowing what I don’t want is helping me stay on the right track as I go.

I’m speaking my dreams and goals into existence.

For a long time I’ve been scared of truly sharing my dreams and goals. If I speak them into existence it feels like I’m setting myself up for failure or judgment. But finding the confidence to share more of my dreams with others is helping me to find my path through the unknown.

By knowing what my dreams are, I’m better able to discern what is for me and what isn’t. And by knowing what my goals in life are—as long as they are in line with God’s will for me—I know that God will place the right thing in my life at the right time. 

I’m giving God room to move.

Part of the reason I’m finding some contentment in the unknowns is that I’m not waiting around with expectations. Instead, I’m giving God room to move in whichever way he wants. My hands are open just waiting for him to show me what to do next. I’m not trying to force anything with my expectations or by obsessively searching for jobs online (although that’s what I’m tempted to do at times). 

I’m spending more time in prayer these days, and I’m truly giving God space to answer me. While I haven’t prayed this way in a long time, this type of conversation with God has been giving me tremendous peace as I wait for him to move. 

I’m looking for answers in my everyday life.

Instead of focusing on the unknowns and uncertainty I’m walking into, I’m focusing on what matters now: This very day and these last few weeks I have fully at home with Wesley. In my attention to the ordinary, I’m finding more and more of God’s hand in everything. He’s giving me answers just through my being faithful to right now.

Every single moment is an opportunity for God to move in a profound way. He’s been speaking to me a lot lately through small things like the gratitude shell from a few weeks ago, the flowers that bloomed out of nothing beside the river, leaves beginning to change color, and my petunias that keep multiplying. Even the changing weather is a testament to the changes that are happening in my life. I know the answers I seek live within these everyday moments.

Finding Peace in my Waiting

I’ve had eighteen months to consider what this next season holds for me. Perhaps I’ve actually had a lifetime. But as I grow and evolve and change into the person God is calling me to be, I suppose it’s natural to feel uncertain every once in a while—or even most of the time. No new season comes with full understanding. Nor does it ever mean we will have all the answers. Life ebbs and flows, and just like the deep holds secrets and mystery, our lives will hold them too. 

Nothing is ever completely certain other than God, and even he is a mystery to us. But I will hold onto hope that even when I’m standing at the door of uncertainty, I know that he holds the key, he’s on the other side, and he’s the door itself. He is in my very midst even in my unknowns. I will find peace in my waiting.

Seasons of Being Pruned: Where Flourishing is Born

My jalapeño plant sits on my patio in my homegrown garden. Its bright blue plastic pot brings contrast to otherwise greens of my herbs and the occasional pinks and purples of my petunias and vincas. While the summer heat keeps it from fully growing its peppers, I know that they’ll grow abundantly when autumn comes this year. Even in the summer heat she thrives, growing taller and taller, leaves filling out the plant so it looks almost tree-ish. But it wasn’t always like this.

After last autumn’s harvest, the jalapeño plant became barren and unfruitful. Her leaves began falling one by one. Eventually, I knew I had to prune her completely down to bare branches. Some of the branches even had to go too. While it was work that pained me to perform, I knew it would yield a bountiful harvest when the next autumn came. 

In the pruning and then flourishing process of my jalapeño plant, I was reminded that this is what God longs to do with us. He wants to prune us of the things that no longer serve us. By ridding us of the things that hinder us and hold us back, we will grow bigger and better than before. We can truly flourish into the people God is calling us to become. 

Pruning seasons are painful, yet it’s through the pruning that our flourishing is born.

Seasons of Being Pruned

Sooner or later, we all go through seasons of life that involve being pruned. This often looks like God removing something from our life so that we may be more fruitful. But to us, it doesn’t always look that way. 

It often involves deep pain as we grieve for what was lost, parts of us that we never wanted to say goodbye to. Old habits, relationships, jobs, comforts. All gone as part of God’s pruning process. But it’s through pruning that we are forced to come face to face with our dependency on things that are not of God. 

I have gone through my fair share of pruning seasons as God longed to shape me into someone who was dependent upon him instead of on things of this world. He’s taken away jobs, relationships, opportunities, friendships, habits, and old comforts as He sought after my heart. 

The pain of my pruning was excruciating. But looking back now, I can see that it was all for a purpose. By God removing those parts of my life that were causing me to stumble and turn away from him, I was able to flourish into the person I am now. I’ve experienced tremendous growth that I never would have if I was still holding onto the parts of my life that God was clearly trying to shear away.

While the pruning itself is painful, there’s no denying that there is great beauty that comes from it. By allowing God to prune us, we open ourselves up to a life that is so much more fulfilling than the one we’re currently leading. 

A Pruning Perspective

I want to be someone who handles God’s pruning with grace. But so often, I’m left wondering what I did wrong for God to do this to me. For so much of my life, I felt like it was a personal attack. 

How could God have taken that opportunity away from me, the one I thought was the right thing? Why did He take this chance, this job, this relationship away? Why did God remove from my life the things that brought me joy, the things that were comfortable?

But after almost 30 years on this earth, I’m learning the power of perspective. I’m also learning that God always has the final say.

God took away that job because it wasn’t the best place for me to glorify him. It also wasn’t the best use of my time or talent.

God took away that opportunity, that chance, for one that was so much better.

He took the relationship away because it was hurting my relationship with Him and causing me to stumble.

God removed the things that brought me comfort and joy because it was the false comfort that the world gives. He would soon show me what true comfort in the things of God was.

God’s pruning is always with purpose. The shears may be sharp, and we may have to wait for our flourishing, but we can trust that the pruning brings forth new life.

We can embrace the pruning by:

Allowing ourselves to mourn what was lost but remembering that God is in charge.

I want to be the first to say that it’s okay to mourn what was lost, even if it wasn’t good for us. Your feelings are valid, and your grieving is okay. Oftentimes, the things that God prunes from our lives are things that we held dear and weren’t ready to let go of.

It’s okay to mourn for those things, but we can’t allow ourselves to bask in nostalgia. Our nostalgic thoughts often only make us remember a past that was better than it actually was. We can grieve what was lost, but we have to remember that God is still in charge. Eventually we have to come to a place where we can comfortably walk away from what was lost and move forward, knowing that God has better planned for us. 

Reflecting on why God may have taken that relationship, job, opportunity, (fill in the blank) away.

Through our reflection, self-awareness, and being really honest with ourselves, we usually can begin to understand why God took away whatever it was in our life. Most times, it’s simply because something better is coming. God has something even bigger planned for us. Other times, it’s because it was causing us to stumble and we needed to keep our eyes better fixed on Jesus. Spend some time in reflection and ask God to help you discern why the pruning was necessary.

Asking God what we can do right now to begin our flourishing process.

By conversing with God in prayer, we are participating in what God wants to do in our lives. It’s often in times of prayer when I’m able to sense what God is calling me to or wants me to do next. He’ll sometimes give me little insights or small bits of inspiration or encouragement as I go. When we ask God what we can do right now, he’ll show up. Keep your eyes, ears, and heart open for His response.

Enjoying the preparation season.

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ll probably notice that I’ve written about this plant before. It’s funny reading that blog post now because it feels like so long ago. My writing has improved a ton since then, but the lesson in that post still rings true.

So often God calls us to a season of preparation after the pruning. In that season, God is preparing us for our flourishing. Preparation feels a lot like waiting for what’s next, but it’s in that season where God is getting our hearts and minds ready for what comes next. Don’t rush the preparation. Enjoy it, and absorb all that God is trying to teach you during it. Your flourishing is coming soon.

Pain that Brings Forth Life

As I pruned away the dead leaves and branches, I was a little distraught bringing pain to a plant I loved. But I knew that the pain would bring forth life. The cuts and bruises would heal and those areas would grow back stronger. 

I think of God in this way too. He gives and takes away. He prunes the dead things and pulls the weeds in our souls. I often think of Him as the master gardener. He knows that by ridding us of the things that hinder us and turn us away from Him, we’ll become more faithful, obedient, and zealous for the things of Him. He prunes so that we would become more bountiful and beautiful, inside and out. 

From the pruning, the flourishing is born.

Choosing to Live in the Present Moment (Stewarding Your Season #4)

Before having Wesley and even in the early days of motherhood, I wandered aimlessly through life. I had goals and aspirations, but life was always about getting somewhere instead of living in the right now. Part of me always wondered if there was something better out there. 

But it’s been within this season with my little boy that I’ve discovered that the present moment is all we have. I’ve finally understood the passing of precious time, as he changes so quickly before my eyes. I don’t want to miss it.

When I see his unfiltered joy, I want to capture it, and I want to feel it too. What brings me the most joy in life these days is living my days slowly, choosing to embrace all that they entail. From planting seeds to tilling soil, existing in the ordinary, this is my mindset and choice: The present moment deserves to be lived fully. I will steward it well.

Choosing to Live in the Present Moment

There is a natural progression from understanding where you are, accepting it, and changing your perspective, and then choosing to live more presently. We can do the first three well and live a fuller life, but if we don’t make the intentional choice to live in the present moment we are unable to steward our current season as well as we could.

These days, while I’m aware of the tension that exists within my heart, I’m choosing to live more presently. If I don’t make this active choice every single day, I know that I’m prone to wander, to worry, and to spiral. I have to make a choice to turn my heart toward the things of this moment rather than the regrets of the past or the concerns of tomorrow.

The here and now is all we really have. We can remember the past and prepare and hope for the future, but even those actions take place in the present moment. We have to steward these moments given to us well, and the last step in doing so is choosing to live more presently.

Here are some ways to help you as you choose to live more presently:

Find routines that work for this season.

I fully believe that the habits and routines that we engage in shape how we interact with the present moment. We have to find routines that work for us in this season instead of holding onto old ones. 

For example, in this season I’m finding myself doing my Bible study and writing during Wesley’s naptime in the afternoon rather than in the mornings like I used to. I’m practicing different spiritual disciplines in this season based on what I’m sensing I need to grow in the most. I’m also drinking a lot more coffee! Find what routines work best for you in this season and make those a part of your everyday life.

Thank God for what you have right now.

I know I suggested this as a way to help you accept where you are when it isn’t what you want, but I think it can be helpful as we choose to live presently as well. When we show gratitude to God for what we have, it ignites a spark in us. It helps us to engage these days more fully because we are appreciative of what we already have. So what are those things in your life, big or small, that you are thankful for?

Plan only for this season.

When we find ourselves planning for the fall or next spring, we lose ourselves in the future. In order to live more presently, we must only make plans for this season. I do this by taking things one week at a time. If I know I have something important coming up, I remember it, but I don’t plan for it until it’s almost here. This practice has helped me to stay present and make the most of today instead of always looking forward to the next big thing.

Continually choose to live in this moment, even when it’s painful and hard.

I know how hard living in the present moment can be. Sometimes it feels heavy with grief or tension. But even our deepest pain demands to be felt and processed. We have to wake up each morning and make the intentional choice to live more presently. It has to be a continuous practice we engage in, even when it’s really hard. But faith takes endurance and perseverance. We can only grow when we allow ourselves to face hard things.

Steward It Well

Learning to steward your season well is a practice that we must all learn so we can live more fully. By understanding where we are, accepting it, changing our perspective, and choosing to live in the present moment, we can live fully within this season given to us.

My intention with this series was to better equip you to live a life that is aware of God’s presence in the here and now, doing good with the perfect gifts he’s given. I hope that it has helped you as you desire to grow.

Remember: this moment is all we have. Now go, and live it well.

Accepting Where You Are When It Isn’t What You Wanted (Stewarding Your Season #2)

I never thought I would still be a stay-at-home mom at this point. When Wesley was born, I always imagined him going to daycare and me pursuing a career once he turned a year old. But one year came and went, and I chose to continue to stay home with him.

And to be honest, that decision has been really hard on me.

These days, I often find myself wondering what am I even doing with my life? I have such strong passions and dreams, and yet I’m still spending my days with my 15 month old. I long for a career and going into the office. My book dreams are at the forefront of my mind. Motherhood is my primary job today, but what about my other callings and giftings?

I’m continuing to trust that if this is where God has me, there must be purpose in it. If this is the decision we made as a family and we knew God was in it, it must have been for a reason. I’m planting seeds and tilling the soil until the flourishing comes.

I’ve accepted that this season right now is a necessary one–even if it isn’t what I wanted.

The Present Is All We Have

Once we’ve understood and named our current season, our next step is to accept it. Most of us wish we were somewhere else in life. We wish for different careers, to go on a vacation, or to have children. Some of us wish we could revive a lost relationship or go back to an old home or job. 

I know I find myself longing for things that have been long gone. But I also find myself wishing for the future at times. I wonder what things will be like when I have a career again or when Wesley is in school. Life often moves too slow for our liking.

But the truth is, the present is all we really have. The choices we make now impact our future. And the way we live the season we are in now shapes our future too. Even if our current season is one that we would never choose, we still have to accept that it’s where we are now. We have to remember that God is the author of our lives. He’s holding the trail map, and He’s writing it out. It’s our job to follow the map, living each moment presently and with purpose.

Accepting Where We Are

When I think about accepting where we are, I think about being okay with our circumstances. I imagine an attitude of complete trust and surrender. I imagine showing God gratitude for what he’s given, even if it’s not something we wanted or knew we needed. Accepting where we are comes with an attitude of humility as we lay down our own agendas and need for control. It’s an active heart-change and attitude shift. 

We have to accept where we are before we can live it well or live it better. We cannot steward the life we’ve been given well when we’re too busy wishing it away. Instead, we have to take what we’ve been given and use it for God’s glory. 

Where you are right now is all part of God’s master plan for your life. When you accept that this season is a necessary one in your faith journey, you will begin to see all the ways that God is working things out for you right here and now.

But how do we accept where we are, especially if it isn’t what we wanted?

We practice gratitude for what we have, even when it’s hard.

Gratitude is a spiritual discipline I come back to often. It’s the act of thanking God for what he has given and done for us. Even when it’s hard to thank God today, look for the little things, the small pieces of goodness that still exist. Sometimes it’s just the soft breeze or the dandelions in the grass. Begin thanking God for his good gifts, and soon you will be able to see his hand in everything.

We give control back to God.

It’s hard to accept where we are when we’re trying to be in control of our lives. Sometimes, we can even believe that we’ve failed because we aren’t where we thought we would be. But God is in control of the universe, not us. We cannot will for things to be a certain way and make it happen. When we give control back to God, we are giving him permission to continue being in control. It takes the pressure off of us and puts control back where it belongs.

We take on an attitude of surrender.

When we give control back to God, it’s easier to take on an attitude of surrender. To me, surrender looks like open-handed living. It’s living in such a way that we are open to what God is doing in our lives and allowing the Spirit to guide us. You can read more about open-handed living in a blog post from last summer here.

We lay down our own agendas and expectations.

I’ve always been someone that has high expectations. For most of my life, it’s served me well. It’s helped me keep my standards high and stick to my morals when making decisions. But it’s also led to a lot of disappointment when life turns out differently than I planned or expected. I’ve learned that it’s important to have some expectations and plans, but we have to be open to what God could do. We have to allow room for God to work. We have to be willing to set aside our own agendas and expectations so God’s can be the ones that guide our lives.

When we are able to accept where we are, we are better able to steward this season of life. I pray that you are encouraged in knowing that God doesn’t make mistakes. There are no accidents with God. He has you where you are for a specific purpose at this specific time.

Understanding Where You Are (Stewarding Your Season #1)

The days of this season blend together. Our routines and rhythms are mundane, yet so life-giving. Our morning play time and walk by the river reminds me to slow down and enjoy these days with my growing boy. My daily Bible reading is a breath of fresh air in an otherwise ordinary day. 

This season is one of slow growth. It’s one of reclaiming who I am as a woman, apart from my work or what I can produce. It’s a season of planting seeds and growing deep roots before any sort of blooming can take place. And honestly, this season is one of wondering if this writing life is for me after all. In reclaiming who I am, I’m also discovering new interests and passions as I allow myself to dream of a future that is open-ended and in God’s hands completely. 

This is where I find myself today. Where is it that you find yourself?

Where Do You Find Yourself Today?

This question seems easy enough to answer. But for many people, it’s complicated. For someone just learning the concept of seasonal living, it can be difficult to compartmentalize life into “seasons” or “chapters”. The transition between seasons can often be difficult to pinpoint as well. For others, even naming the characteristics of their current season can be overwhelming. This is especially true for those who are experiencing a time of challenges or a season of deep growth. Even the monotony can be difficult to name.

For so many people, life is just happening around them. They aren’t an active participant, and they live life by going through the motions. Things just are the way they are. But are they really?

When I look back on my life, I see now that I lived this way for a long time. Life just happened around me, and I was caught in its waves. I didn’t understand my season, and in turn, I didn’t know what God was doing in my midst. I wasn’t even open to God’s movement because my mind and heart were so clouded. It’s hard to admit that I wasn’t even an active participant in my own life for many years.

But as I’ve grown and matured, God has revealed to me that life comes and goes in seasons. And through these seasons comes an invitation to partner with Him as I go. Life is not as fulfilling when I’m going at it alone.

It’s become clear to me now the various seasons I’ve walked through to get me to this point in time. Seasons of doubt, wandering, wilderness, transition—they all brought me here. But if I’m going to continue to grow and experience life fully, I have to understand what God is asking me to partner with him in. I believe that comes with understanding the season of life we are in and naming it.

God has revealed to me that life comes and goes in seasons. And through these seasons comes an invitation to partner with Him as I go.

Understanding Your Current Season

This series is all about stewarding our current season of life well. The first step in doing this is understanding our current season of life. We cannot steward well what we don’t understand or don’t realize that we have. We have to break down our current season into something more digestible and easy to comprehend so we can understand it and accept it. 

Being able to name our current season empowers us to live it more fully and presently. When we understand where we are, we can become a more active participant in our own life. Instead of going through the motions, we instead can show up, eager to experience what God has for us.

When I started viewing life in chapters, it helped me to better comprehend what I’m experiencing in the present moment. It gave me permission to focus on the here and now when the world was focusing on the hustle. And once I started naming my season and looking for the goodness in it, my life began to change.

I want that for you too. I long for each of us to live a full life, experiencing all that God has for us, learning the lessons God gives through trials and slow growth, and becoming more like Christ daily. Let’s learn to understand and name the season we are in so we can grow together.

Once I started naming my season and looking for the goodness in it, my life began to change.

Reflecting on Where We Are

In order to truly understand something, we have to figure out what is true and what isn’t. We have to reflect and observe. 

Here are some reflection questions to help you understand what season of life you find yourself in:

What are some characteristics of this season? (i.e. peaceful, dry, challenging, etc.)

What is familiar about this season? What is new or different?

How can you feel yourself being stretched in this season?

What trials are you currently facing?

What big life events have happened recently?

Oftentimes, the characteristics of this season will point you to what kind of season it is. If you’re feeling spiritually dry, this may be a season of deconstruction or spiritual doubt or drought where you will need to spend some time reclaiming your faith. If it’s covered in peace and contentment, this may be a season of rejoicing in the little things and planting seeds.

The trials, life events, and stretching in this season will also point to what season you are in. It could mean a season of grieving a loss, transitioning, or shifting identity. Of course, many seasons of life include many characteristics and feelings of being stretched. The beautiful thing about the human experience is that there is nuance. There is no one size fits all.

When we begin to reflect upon where we are, we are on our way to living a fuller life. So, wherever you find yourself today, know that understanding and naming it will only empower you to live it better. We are on our way to stewarding it well.

Stewarding Your Season: A Series

This present moment. Your current season. Living fully right where you are.

I tend to write a lot about these themes here on this blog. I’m passionate about helping you live fully right where you are, as I’ve been learning how to do so over the last few years. There’s something about understanding where we are and embracing it fully that leads to a more fulfilling life. And something about that inspires me to put it into digestible words for us to absorb and learn from.

Your Current Season

Consider these questions: Where do you find yourself at the present moment? What season of life do you find yourself in? And what are you doing about it?

For me, I’m in a season of learning to be content with the ordinary. My season is one of planting seeds that will flourish later. It’s a time of rediscovering who I am in a way that speaks truth to my current circumstances. And to be honest, sometimes I feel lost in these moments and long for something more exciting. Sometimes I wish for a moment where I can see the fruit of what I’m doing right now.

So many of us are going through the motions. We hurry through life, looking forward to the next thing. We run away from our struggles and have a hard time believing that there is goodness in trials. And sometimes, like me, the ordinary or monotony of daily life seems trivial, and we long for more. We lack gratitude for what we have right now.

But what if I told you that your current season is meant to be stewarded well? What if we lived in such a way that showed that we are thankful for what God has given—even when it’s difficult and painful?

Where you are right now—in any season—is an invitation into a fuller life. And through proper stewardship, we can embrace everything that God has intended for us.

Stewardship

Typically when we think about stewardship, we think about tithing or giving. While that’s certainly part of it—stewarding our finances well by giving back to the Giver—stewardship goes so much deeper than that.

Stewardship is taking good care of the things entrusted to us during our time on earth. It is using the good gifts God has given us to pursue our God-given purpose, serve others well, and bring further glory to God. And we can do that with our finances, our material possessions, and yes, even our season of life. 

Where you find yourself today didn’t happen by accident. I believe that God has you where you are for a reason. He has placed people in your life who will shape you, circumstances that will challenge you and help you grow, and seasons that hold profound lessons. And when God gives, it is an invitation to partner with him within this world.

Your current season of life was given as an invitation to live it fully, embracing all that it brings, and using it to bring glory to God. We can do all of that well when we steward this very moment that God has given.

When we steward our current season well, we are opening ourselves up to a fuller, more fulfilling life. Our lives are more in the present moment. They are intentional and focused.

When we live a more intentional life, stewarding well what has been given, we can:

• Experience God more fully in our life

• Connect deeper with others

• Learn what God is intending for us to learn through our circumstances

• Grow a deeper trust for God and his provision

• Live a more fulfilled life

• Become the people we are meant to become

• Find real peace and contentment

What to Expect

This series is intended to help you learn how to steward your current season well, even if your current circumstances aren’t what you wanted or hoped for. We will learn together how we can better care for these days that have been entrusted to us.

Over the next month, I will be exploring this idea of stewarding our current season well with the four steps:

1. Understanding Where We Are: Figuring out exactly what season of life you are in so you can steward it well.

2. Accepting Where We Are: Learning how to accept the season of life you are in, especially if it’s something you wish was different.

3. Changing Our Perspective: Beginning to view the season of life you are in as an invitation and a privilege.

4. Making a Choice to Live More Presently: Finding practical ways to live more intentionally and presently and choosing to do so.

My hope is that by the end of this series, you will be equipped to steward whatever season of life God gives well. May we be people who are willing to walk the path God has given, no matter how painful or challenging. May we become people who seek God first even amongst life’s deepest difficulties. And may we always remember that our steps in life have purpose. Let’s steward them well.

Lost in the Woods: Finding Purpose in the Wildest Seasons of Life

I still remember the feeling of my heart racing as my hopes for this next season fell to shambles. I had no job lined up, no place to live, and no plans other than my online Seminary courses. My belongings were in a storage unit from the summer, and my cats were being housed in a bedroom at my parents’ house. I was living on my sister’s couch out of a suitcase. For many people, this lack of responsibilities and simplicity of life may feel like a dream, but for me, I felt numb and unsure of where to go.

Where was I going to live? How would I afford to even live there?

Why does this feel like I’m lost in the woods?

Threads of An Old Life

Whenever I watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy I always find myself relating to Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry as they return to the Shire after being away. The part at the end of Return of the King where they are in The Green Dragon always moves me.

While life is carrying along around them, they find themselves feeling out of place. They are holding onto this memory that only they will understand together. They then look around the room and then at each other. You can just feel the moment where they are thinking we just experienced a life-changing event, and no one else knows or cares. How do we go on from this? A few moments later we see Frodo at Bag End vocalizing these thoughts: “how do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back?”

The reason these final moments in the trilogy touch me so deeply is because this was how I felt as I walked into the deepest wilderness season of my life. The hobbits had just experienced a difficult adventure and now had to learn how to walk forward from it. I had just experienced a deeply transformative season of my life, yet I was alone in my experience as I returned home. I didn’t have support in the way that the hobbits did as they acclimated back to normal life. Old routines wouldn’t work for this new season. Like Frodo said, I didn’t know how pick up the threads of an old life and move forward with them. 

The Wilderness of Life

As we walk in these wilderness seasons of life, we oftentimes wonder why God is asking us to walk through such harsh conditions. Your wilderness season may be one filled with grief, or it may be filled with doubt. It may be a season where you are walking blindly, unsure of where you are going. You may be between jobs or experiencing infertility. 

Regardless of the defining characteristics of your particular season of wilderness, I believe that God is using this season for a purpose. 

Even in the vast wilderness of life, God’s provision remains.

When the Israelites wandered in the wilderness for forty years, God still provided manna for them to eat.

When various people in the Gospels struggled with blindness, leprosy, and sickness, God provided healing through Jesus and his miracles.

And when humanity struggled with sin and unfaithfulness, God provided a Savior.

God calls us into seasons that are challenging, lonely, and downright wild so that he may be glorified through them. It’s also through wilderness that God beckons us to surrender to him. It’s in these seasons that we learn to trust in his plans and provision. 

But how can we know which way to go in seasons of wilderness? How do we avoid falling into the traps of the enemy during seasons where we feel lost in the woods?

Dangers in the Unknown

Luke 4 tells the story of Jesus fasting and praying in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights. This alone proves his godhood because mortals alone could never survive that long without food or water. But it’s here in the midst of this wilderness that Satan enters and tries to tempt Jesus into forgoing his faithfulness to God. Even amongst temptation, Jesus stood firm and relied on the revealed word of God to sustain him. I believe that this example shows that even us, as finite human beings, can keep our integrity when we face trials in the wilderness.

As we walk in the wildest seasons, we are often tempted to find certainty and comfort in the things of this world instead of fully relying on God and his Word. I’ve found that three things are dangers toward our faith journey as we venture in the unknown: Our emotions try to lead the way, we latch onto anything that gives us comfort, and we try to rush God’s plans for us.

Truth Over Emotions

During my own vast wilderness, my emotions were all over the place. One day I felt confident and surrendered to God’s plans for me, even if I didn’t know what they were. But the next day, I felt alone and uncertain. My emotions would run wild, and the enemy would speak lies over me like you are alone in this and God has abandoned you. 

Our emotions are often trying to alert us to something that is a deeper issue, but they do not speak the whole truth. For me, my emotions made me more aware of my need for God, my struggle with anxiety during the unknown, and my desire to be wanted and accepted. While our emotions can be healthy, they also can lead us down the wrong path if we follow them instead of following God. 

Instead of allowing our emotions to lead the way, we need to remember that although they have a voice, God’s voice should be louder in our lives. I know that this isn’t easy to do. Our emotions are such a raw part of us, and God created us to be people of emotion. However, we have to remember what is true: that Jesus died for us, that we are loved by the Creator of this world, and that we serve a God that fulfills his promises.

Finding Comfort in God

When we allow our emotions to lead us, we often try to find ways to satisfy them. For me, I tend to latch onto anything that gives me a sense of comfort. During my wilderness season, one of those things I latched onto was relationships. For much of my youth, I used relationships as a means to find comfort when I felt I was lacking or wanted reassurance. I see now how unhealthy my view was toward relationships, which is why so many of them were fleeting and never lasted long.

Wandering in the woods, we find that we need something or someone to help us feel at home. What is that for you? Do you tend to latch onto other people? Or do you use food such as sweets or coffee to help you find comfort?

Instead of latching onto things of this world when we feel lost and uncertain, let’s latch tightly onto God. Desires of this world will not satisfy, but God will always be enough to satisfy us. 

Trusting God’s Plans

When our emotions are running wild and we are not able to find comfort within this world, we tend to try to rush our walk through the wilderness. We find ourselves running blindly and trying to make the world turn on our own. But who could actually force God’s plans to come to fruition by racing through life and trying to take the reins on their own?

This may be hard to hear if you are in the midst of a wilderness season, but we have to simply trust the process. God is still working and making a way, even today when we feel caught in a rainstorm or lost in the forest. We have to hold onto trust and have a little faith to make it through. It’s an intentional choice to wake up each morning and believe that God is still working. He is not holding out on us, and He has not forgotten us.

Walking in the Wilderness

While there is no simple step-by-step way to navigate seasons of wilderness, there are a few things that can help us to find purpose within them. These are the actions that I took in my own wilderness, even though I wasn’t fully aware of them at the time:

Do The Next Right Thing

If you’ve seen Frozen 2 you know that part where Anna sings the song by this same name. I know it’s an animated Disney movie, but this part of the movie always makes me tear up a little. Anna is making the active choice to put one foot in front of the other and take small steps even in the midst of her grief. 

In my own season of wilderness, I just did one thing at a time. I found an apartment to move into, I moved my belongings out of a storage unit, and I found myself a job as a barista. I focused on my studies and volunteered in the student ministry and worship team at my church. And when the time was right, I started searching for ministry job openings and found the right opportunity that led to the next season of my life. It was through these small steps of doing the next right thing that I was able to walk confidently in the storm.

Seek Out Community

Most of the time we feel alone in our wildest seasons. We believe that what we are going through is ours to handle and that others can’t relate. One of the biggest lies the enemy tries to speak over us is that we are alone. Yes, we may be physically alone at times, but God is always with us. We are never truly alone. We do, however, need to find good Christian community to come alongside us as we walk through our difficult seasons of life (and the good ones too). Community helps make our walk feel more manageable, as we are being supported and encouraged along the way.

During my wilderness season, I sought out community through a small group. I stayed connected to friends that I had spent my summer with. My new job also gave me opportunities to meet new people and connect with my coworkers. Being involved in my church also helped me to find support from those around me.

Look for Goodness Right Where You Are

It’s often hard to see goodness when our minds are racing and we feel lost in the woods. But if we take time to slow down, catch our breath, and look around us there is so much beauty just asking to be seen by our eyes. There can still be goodness in our wildest seasons if we have eyes to see it.

My own wilderness season was filled with nature walks with my sister’s dog Harper on my days off. One day toward the beginning of this season, I took Harper on a walk to our city’s nature park. We came across a massive growth of sunflowers there. The growth was so thick that it seemed like there was a wall of yellow flowers before us. 

That fall was filled with orange and yellow foliage, and my job brought out the best smells of espresso as I improved my latte art. I excelled in my online courses, and my professor asked if she could use my essay as an example for future classes. Best of all, I met my husband during this season of my life.

Goodness still grows in the wildest parts of our lives.

Be Open To God’s Provision

Within the vast wilderness, it can be difficult to see the ways that God is providing for us. Life feels barren and empty, and our loneliness feels unbearable. But even in that place of desperation, God is providing. We have to open our eyes to the small and sometimes unique ways that He is making a way for us.

As I took one small step after the other, God continued to provide. He gave me an apartment and a job. He gave me those sunflowers that reminded me that beauty still exists. God gave me little joys and wonders when I was lost that reminded me of who he is: a Creator who is still creating beauty today. 

We have to be open to the ways that God is providing, even if it’s in something as small as a really good latte or unexpected wildflowers. He is in all of the small things, and those things display His ability to provide.

Ask Continuously “What Lesson Is God Trying to Teach Me?”

When we come across struggles in life, we often ask “why is God doing this to me?”. I believe that is the wrong question to be asking. Instead, we should be asking “what lesson is God trying to teach me?”. 

Even in wilderness, there are lessons to be learned. What could those be for you?

As you continue to walk in the wilderness or encounter wilderness seasons of life, may you remember that there is purpose within the struggle. There is beauty waiting to be seen. And God will be glorified through it all.

Seasons of Preparation: Lessons from a Jalapeño Plant

Over the summer, I was given a jalapeño plant. It was just a small seedling with a few leaves. I had read that jalapeño plants typically won’t produce jalapeños when it’s above 90 degrees. Because I live in Texas, I went into that summer with pretty low expectations for the plant. However, I still watered it twice a week and kept repotting it as it grew, which it did fast! We had a few near misses with it, as the plant toppled over a few times on windy days. I had to start using a large rock to prop up the stem. 

Once it dropped below 80, then 70, I started losing hope for it, but I continued to nurture it. The plants around it continued to bloom, but this one still hadn’t produced any jalapeños. It seemed to want to produce them–it still flowered and tried to grow. But once the flowers opened that would eventually turn into the vegetable, they would shrivel up and fall off. But then one day, when it had dropped to 39 degrees one morning, I noticed two small jalapeños finally breaking through the flowering. 

This plant that I had raised from a little seedling had taken all summer absorbing nutrients, growing tall, and watching the other plants around it flourish had finally had its turn. When the conditions were right and it had done all the preparation it could do, it finally bloomed.

A Season of Preparation

I often feel like this jalapeño plant, watching others around me bloom, yet I’m still waiting for my time in the sun. Just like anyone else, I have dreams and passions, talents and goals. But they have yet to gain traction or turn into something that makes sense.

With my writing, I often feel like I’m behind. I see other people writing book proposals, publishing award-winning books, gaining traction to their blogs, and gaining Instagram followers… All while I’m sitting at home barely finding time to write between taking care of my home and my infant. Let me be clear here: I’m truly not saying this to complain. I absolutely love my life and my child. However, it’s a real tension to feel like it’s not your turn yet but desperately wanting it to be.

Have you felt this tension before? Like you are nurturing your talents and stewarding your giftings well, yet you still feel like it isn’t your turn?

Do you often feel like you’ve been in a perpetual season of waiting?

Are you desperate for your time in the sun, but keep being pushed into the shade?

Maybe you are finding yourself in what I like to call a season of preparation. 

Seasons of Preparation

A season of preparation is the season of life where God is inviting you to absorb, grow, and gain knowledge until the conditions are right for you to bloom. It’s a time where we are preparing the field, spreading seeds within ourselves, and waiting until the sun comes from behind the clouds, beckoning us into flourishing. This is a season imperative to the Christian life, but we often don’t take advantage of it. We treat it like another season of waiting. 

But what if I told you that your season of waiting is also a season of preparation in disguise?

Both seasons of waiting and seasons of preparation ask us to be patient while God is making the way for us. Both require us to trust that God has us right where we are for a purpose. And both seasons invite us into present-moment living and intentionality. 

But seasons of preparation ask us to go deeper yet. Seasons of preparation invite us to pull up a chair and welcome the opportunities to absorb the ways God is moving around and within us. Preparation seasons ask us to focus on how we can be preparing ourselves for where we want or sense God is asking us to go. These seasons can be life changing if embraced properly, yet painful if embraced with bitterness or unwillingness to grow. Or worse yet–preparing for something that God isn’t calling you or leading you into at all.

I like to think of seasons of preparation as God preparing, equipping, and making ready our hearts for what he is calling us into.

Prepare to Flourish

Just like the jalapeño plant continued to grow tall during its preparation for flourishing, God is calling us to do the same. He is calling us to absorb what He has to teach us right here and now. He is inviting us into deeper communion with Him so we can be equipped and prepared for what He has next for us on our journey.

I want to be clear that this season of preparation is not one that is without flourishing in itself. Even the jalapeño plant grew flowers before it grew the jalapeños. But those flowers were not ready to hold the jalapeños so they shriveled. We are the same. God will not allow us to hold what we are not ready to steward well.

Think about that job opportunity you really want. Will God give it to you if you are not yet able to steward that gift well?

What about that book you want to write? God will not give you the book deal if you’re not able to embody the message in your very being. And hey- maybe you haven’t yet experienced what God is wanting your book to be about!

For myself, I’ve written a few blog posts on my old site that gained a little traction. But looking back, God stopped the traction and growth on my blog and social media platforms because I wasn’t ready to steward them well yet. I had yet to become the person God was calling me to be. My heart wasn’t in the right place, and I was too focused on the numbers and followers. I needed a season of preparation to set myself right with God and to absorb the nutrients I would need when my time of blooming did come.

Preparing, Equipping, and Making Ready

Sometimes it’s a bitter pill to swallow that what we’re walking through is a season of preparation. It can be difficult to see within ourselves what needs to change so that we can better steward the things God is calling us into. Oftentimes, God will take away what we think we need most so we can realize that all we need is him. It’s only through him that we’re able to flourish into the best versions of ourselves.

I like to think of seasons of preparation as God preparing, equipping, and making ready our hearts for what he is calling us into. But how do we do that? How can we be faithful in this journey toward personal growth and nurturing?

Here are a few ways that we can open our hearts to what God has for us in seasons of preparation:

Pray that God would reveal the areas in your life that need the most attention.

Have you ever thought about the fact that God wants you to grow so that you can walk into his calling for your life? Ask God what areas of your life need the most attention, and write them down. This exercise may be painful, but it will be helpful toward your growth during this season of preparation. Once God reveals these areas, ask him to reveal ways that you can grow in them.

Find and absorb resources that will act as nutrients for your blooming.

There are numerous resources out there that can help you on your journey. I’ve been absorbing books that speak into the season I’m currently living in, as well as resources that help guide me on my writing journey. What resources are out there that can act as nutrients for you right now?

Focus on your relationship with God first during this season.

During seasons of preparation it can be easy to try to escape, look to others for comfort, or compare ourselves to others and their progress. Instead of looking for an escape, lean into God during this time. Your relationship with God during trying seasons will greatly impact how you leave this season and venture onto the next. Look to God first and trust that he has you here for a purpose.

Discern whether your dreams are his dreams.

Are the dreams that you have in your heart stemming from your own wants and desires or are they truly from God? Practice discernment in this area and test the spirits to know what is of God and what is of your own making. This will take prayer, confiding in others, and deep self-awareness. Take your time as you discern God’s plans for you.

Your time will come. Just like the jalapeño plant sitting out on my patio, now growing several jalapeños, a time of preparation was necessary for its eventual prospering. For now, use this time to learn, ask questions, absorb, and rest. Your time to bloom is coming.