Understanding Where You Are (Stewarding Your Season #1)

The days of this season blend together. Our routines and rhythms are mundane, yet so life-giving. Our morning play time and walk by the river reminds me to slow down and enjoy these days with my growing boy. My daily Bible reading is a breath of fresh air in an otherwise ordinary day. 

This season is one of slow growth. It’s one of reclaiming who I am as a woman, apart from my work or what I can produce. It’s a season of planting seeds and growing deep roots before any sort of blooming can take place. And honestly, this season is one of wondering if this writing life is for me after all. In reclaiming who I am, I’m also discovering new interests and passions as I allow myself to dream of a future that is open-ended and in God’s hands completely. 

This is where I find myself today. Where is it that you find yourself?

Where Do You Find Yourself Today?

This question seems easy enough to answer. But for many people, it’s complicated. For someone just learning the concept of seasonal living, it can be difficult to compartmentalize life into “seasons” or “chapters”. The transition between seasons can often be difficult to pinpoint as well. For others, even naming the characteristics of their current season can be overwhelming. This is especially true for those who are experiencing a time of challenges or a season of deep growth. Even the monotony can be difficult to name.

For so many people, life is just happening around them. They aren’t an active participant, and they live life by going through the motions. Things just are the way they are. But are they really?

When I look back on my life, I see now that I lived this way for a long time. Life just happened around me, and I was caught in its waves. I didn’t understand my season, and in turn, I didn’t know what God was doing in my midst. I wasn’t even open to God’s movement because my mind and heart were so clouded. It’s hard to admit that I wasn’t even an active participant in my own life for many years.

But as I’ve grown and matured, God has revealed to me that life comes and goes in seasons. And through these seasons comes an invitation to partner with Him as I go. Life is not as fulfilling when I’m going at it alone.

It’s become clear to me now the various seasons I’ve walked through to get me to this point in time. Seasons of doubt, wandering, wilderness, transition—they all brought me here. But if I’m going to continue to grow and experience life fully, I have to understand what God is asking me to partner with him in. I believe that comes with understanding the season of life we are in and naming it.

God has revealed to me that life comes and goes in seasons. And through these seasons comes an invitation to partner with Him as I go.

Understanding Your Current Season

This series is all about stewarding our current season of life well. The first step in doing this is understanding our current season of life. We cannot steward well what we don’t understand or don’t realize that we have. We have to break down our current season into something more digestible and easy to comprehend so we can understand it and accept it. 

Being able to name our current season empowers us to live it more fully and presently. When we understand where we are, we can become a more active participant in our own life. Instead of going through the motions, we instead can show up, eager to experience what God has for us.

When I started viewing life in chapters, it helped me to better comprehend what I’m experiencing in the present moment. It gave me permission to focus on the here and now when the world was focusing on the hustle. And once I started naming my season and looking for the goodness in it, my life began to change.

I want that for you too. I long for each of us to live a full life, experiencing all that God has for us, learning the lessons God gives through trials and slow growth, and becoming more like Christ daily. Let’s learn to understand and name the season we are in so we can grow together.

Once I started naming my season and looking for the goodness in it, my life began to change.

Reflecting on Where We Are

In order to truly understand something, we have to figure out what is true and what isn’t. We have to reflect and observe. 

Here are some reflection questions to help you understand what season of life you find yourself in:

What are some characteristics of this season? (i.e. peaceful, dry, challenging, etc.)

What is familiar about this season? What is new or different?

How can you feel yourself being stretched in this season?

What trials are you currently facing?

What big life events have happened recently?

Oftentimes, the characteristics of this season will point you to what kind of season it is. If you’re feeling spiritually dry, this may be a season of deconstruction or spiritual doubt or drought where you will need to spend some time reclaiming your faith. If it’s covered in peace and contentment, this may be a season of rejoicing in the little things and planting seeds.

The trials, life events, and stretching in this season will also point to what season you are in. It could mean a season of grieving a loss, transitioning, or shifting identity. Of course, many seasons of life include many characteristics and feelings of being stretched. The beautiful thing about the human experience is that there is nuance. There is no one size fits all.

When we begin to reflect upon where we are, we are on our way to living a fuller life. So, wherever you find yourself today, know that understanding and naming it will only empower you to live it better. We are on our way to stewarding it well.

Stewarding Your Season: A Series

This present moment. Your current season. Living fully right where you are.

I tend to write a lot about these themes here on this blog. I’m passionate about helping you live fully right where you are, as I’ve been learning how to do so over the last few years. There’s something about understanding where we are and embracing it fully that leads to a more fulfilling life. And something about that inspires me to put it into digestible words for us to absorb and learn from.

Your Current Season

Consider these questions: Where do you find yourself at the present moment? What season of life do you find yourself in? And what are you doing about it?

For me, I’m in a season of learning to be content with the ordinary. My season is one of planting seeds that will flourish later. It’s a time of rediscovering who I am in a way that speaks truth to my current circumstances. And to be honest, sometimes I feel lost in these moments and long for something more exciting. Sometimes I wish for a moment where I can see the fruit of what I’m doing right now.

So many of us are going through the motions. We hurry through life, looking forward to the next thing. We run away from our struggles and have a hard time believing that there is goodness in trials. And sometimes, like me, the ordinary or monotony of daily life seems trivial, and we long for more. We lack gratitude for what we have right now.

But what if I told you that your current season is meant to be stewarded well? What if we lived in such a way that showed that we are thankful for what God has given—even when it’s difficult and painful?

Where you are right now—in any season—is an invitation into a fuller life. And through proper stewardship, we can embrace everything that God has intended for us.

Stewardship

Typically when we think about stewardship, we think about tithing or giving. While that’s certainly part of it—stewarding our finances well by giving back to the Giver—stewardship goes so much deeper than that.

Stewardship is taking good care of the things entrusted to us during our time on earth. It is using the good gifts God has given us to pursue our God-given purpose, serve others well, and bring further glory to God. And we can do that with our finances, our material possessions, and yes, even our season of life. 

Where you find yourself today didn’t happen by accident. I believe that God has you where you are for a reason. He has placed people in your life who will shape you, circumstances that will challenge you and help you grow, and seasons that hold profound lessons. And when God gives, it is an invitation to partner with him within this world.

Your current season of life was given as an invitation to live it fully, embracing all that it brings, and using it to bring glory to God. We can do all of that well when we steward this very moment that God has given.

When we steward our current season well, we are opening ourselves up to a fuller, more fulfilling life. Our lives are more in the present moment. They are intentional and focused.

When we live a more intentional life, stewarding well what has been given, we can:

• Experience God more fully in our life

• Connect deeper with others

• Learn what God is intending for us to learn through our circumstances

• Grow a deeper trust for God and his provision

• Live a more fulfilled life

• Become the people we are meant to become

• Find real peace and contentment

What to Expect

This series is intended to help you learn how to steward your current season well, even if your current circumstances aren’t what you wanted or hoped for. We will learn together how we can better care for these days that have been entrusted to us.

Over the next month, I will be exploring this idea of stewarding our current season well with the four steps:

1. Understanding Where We Are: Figuring out exactly what season of life you are in so you can steward it well.

2. Accepting Where We Are: Learning how to accept the season of life you are in, especially if it’s something you wish was different.

3. Changing Our Perspective: Beginning to view the season of life you are in as an invitation and a privilege.

4. Making a Choice to Live More Presently: Finding practical ways to live more intentionally and presently and choosing to do so.

My hope is that by the end of this series, you will be equipped to steward whatever season of life God gives well. May we be people who are willing to walk the path God has given, no matter how painful or challenging. May we become people who seek God first even amongst life’s deepest difficulties. And may we always remember that our steps in life have purpose. Let’s steward them well.

Finding Abundance Right Where We Are

Too small of an apartment, not enough hours in the day, nowhere near enough time for me to pursue my dreams. As much as I try to be a glass half-full person, I’m much more familiar with the glass half-empty way of thinking. For much of my life I’ve lived with this scarcity mindset: not having enough or somehow missing out on what’s “out there” or to come. 

But, as I get older, I’m learning that this way of thinking only hinders myself and my satisfaction with my current life. Longing for more or for better takes away from the goodness I’m living in now.

When I look around at my life, yes, I see the things that aren’t great and the things that I wish were better. But I also see that God has given me exactly what I need for this moment in time. There is still abundance here, even if it’s not in the ways that I think it should be. I know that there’s abundance in your life too.

In The Garden

When I think about living a life of abundance, I’m reminded of the story of Adam in the Garden of Eden. We tend to remember this story because of The Fall, but I remember it because of what God intended for humanity before The Fall. 

In Genesis, we see that God created Adam in his image to fulfill a purpose. He then gives Adam a place to live and care for (the Garden), and God gives him a helper (Eve). God provided beauty and nourishment for Adam in the Garden.

There are three things that God intended for us, as shown in his creation and purpose for Adam in Genesis:

• To live as image-bearers because we are created by God himself, in His image. (1:26)

• To live out God’s purposes for us because we all are given a purpose by God. (2:5-7)

• To live a life of abundance because God provides our every need, as in line with his purpose for us (2:9)

We know that this story ends with sin entering the world. Even though Adam and Eve had everything they could have wanted, they still sought more. Their life of plentiful abundance wasn’t enough for them. 

Isn’t it true that we view our lives this way too?

Living Abundantly

Because of The Fall, we now view abundance in a worldly way. Instead of having what we need, what we have isn’t quite enough. Abundance has become synonymous with having everything we want and using what we have for our own glory.

Living a life of abundance isn’t having everything we could ever want and using it for our own means. Instead, it’s having everything that God intends for us to have so we can fulfill the purposes he has given us. It is living a life of fruitfulness using the resources available to you. It’s accepting what God has given and stewarding it well.

God has given you exactly what you need exactly where you are right now for a purpose. When we begin to accept God’s good gifts and use them to glorify him and fulfill his purposes, that’s when abundance once again has its rightful place.

Let’s reclaim the abundance mindset that God intended for us in Adam’s very creation.

Finding Abundance Right Here

How can we find abundance right here, in this very moment?

We begin by remembering God’s intention for us in our creation: to live as image-bearers, with purpose, every need provided for. God has us where we are with what we have for a reason.

What does that look like for you?

For me, although life as a stay at home mom of an almost toddler is exhausting, I know that my purpose at this time is to simply be Wesley’s mom. God has provided me the time and space to perform this purpose. I’m planting seeds that will later flourish as Wesley grows older. And even though I find myself frustrated with our housing search and feel stuck in our small apartment, I have to remember that this is all we need at this time.

Next, we begin to live out of a place of abundance. I know that sounds like a big ask. But hear me out—what if we started to live as though we have everything we need? What if we lived as though what we have is enough for right now?

This looks like stewarding what we have well. For me, this looks like keeping my home organized and clean, giving of my time and money to good causes, spending more time with my family, and living more in the present moment. It is using what we have for God’s glory and getting rid of anything that creates clutter in our hearts or minds.

We were made for abundance, but not abundance as the world sees it. We are living abundantly when we reclaim God’s intention for us. Abundance is right where you are. How will you choose to live with the abundance afforded to you today?

Six Simple Ways to Remember God’s Goodness

This morning, I found myself sitting on our couch, coffee mug in hand, cat on my lap. With Wesley still asleep, these small moments of morning quiet bring calm to my heart. On this particular morning, I’m remembering moments that have passed. Moments where God’s goodness shone through my struggles. Past experiences where goodness overcame the evil that was so evident in my life.

I haven’t always lived in tune with God’s goodness in my life. I sought happiness and acceptance from this world. My sin drowned me and ran rampant. Even when I turned to God and began to follow him, I didn’t realize how good he really was to me. I found myself struggling with depression and anxiety, despairing over things that I should have given to God.

But these days, I’m learning to remember God’s goodness. It’s become a habit, a really good one at that. My eyes are being opened as I slow down and look for God in every little thing.

God’s goodness is always in full supply. It’s poured out for us all throughout this world and throughout our lives. But do we have eyes to see it?

The Goodness of God 

Scripture speaks widely about the goodness of God:

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.” -1 Chronicles 16:34

“Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” -Psalm 23:6

“I will remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” -Psalm 27:13

“The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.” -Psalm 145:9

“No one is good except God alone.” -Mark 10:18

When we look at God’s goodness within Scripture, we can see that his goodness often shows his generosity toward us. He brings joy and blessings to all of his creation. His goodness is in His character, and we often see that goodness in our lived experience.

My own life experience is also a testament of God’s goodness. Over and over, God has overcome evil and darkness with his goodness and light. He has provided for me when I least expected it. And He has been generous to me with his grace, mercy, and love.

When I look back on how God has shown me his goodness, I’m often overcome with emotion. How could a God so good truly love me?

You see, we need to remember God’s goodness to us because it causes us to worship God in a deeper way. It gives us peace and fills our cup. It guides our way and gives us hope.

Here are six ways to remember God’s goodness:

Slow down.

When we slow down and take time to truly see, our eyes will be opened to the goodness of God around us. Have you ever noticed that you get irritable or frustrated when you’re speeding through life? Me too, friend. Slow down, and you will open yourself up to a whole new experience of God and his goodness.

Look for God in the little things.

God is everywhere. He is in everything. He’s in my early morning coffee, my patio garden, and my cats who bring me great comfort. God is in all of creation. Sometimes the small things in life often get overlooked, but the small things are where God is actually really big. Make it a habit to look for God in every little thing.

Spend time in nature.

I often find that God speaks to me in nature. Being out amongst His creation gives me such peace and inspiration. Go on a walk, hike, or bike ride today. Notice the wind, the leaves, and the green sprouting up around you. God’s goodness is there.

Meditate on Scripture.

When we spend time in Scripture and truly meditate on it, we come to see that God really is good. He cares deeply for his creation. He provides what we need when we need it—even if it’s not what we expected. Spend time meditating on Scripture and you will learn more about God’s character and his provision.

Take on a posture of continual worship.

We can take on a posture of worship at any moment. When we live life slowed down, unhurried, and open-handed, that is a posture of worship. When we look for God in the little things, that is also a posture of worship. You can worship God anywhere you are by the way you are living and choosing to love others well.

Reflect on ways God has provided for you.

God is continually providing for us. And there are so many ways that he’s already done so. Take some time to reflect upon all the ways that God has been generous toward you throughout your life. You will see God’s goodness through his generosity and provision.

God’s goodness is everywhere. Do you have eyes to see it?

Here in the Mundane

Every weekday morning, the garbage truck comes to empty our apartment complex’s dumpster. We have the perfect view to watch the act take place from my son’s window. The sound of the truck approaching stirs something in his little body, and he makes a beeline to watch the truck’s arrival. He stands at the window, little hands and face pressed hard on the glass.

Most mornings the driver notices the little face smushed up against the window pane, and he gives the truck horn a honk and waves. When the truck finishes its duty and drives away, my son watches it go. His whole body faces its direction even when he can no longer see it. Once he’s satisfied, he crawls away onto other adventures, knowing we’ll complete this same routine all over again tomorrow.

As a stay at home mom, our life is often a replay of activities and chores with the occasional visitor or appointment. I make my son meals at the same time each day, his naps run on schedule, and his bottles are planned out. We run on monotony, and routine is our way of life. Some days we yearn for life “out there”, away from the simple and ordinary. But most days, we thrive on this simple way of life. To us, our life is a journey to be fully embraced with excitement and fervor. 

Reclaiming Excitement for the Ordinary

When I was a child in central Iowa, my heart was drawn toward the ordinary, the things people often overlooked. Old stuffed animals were friends, small trinkets were toys I used to create dance numbers and formations, and raspberries picked from my grandparents’ bush were the most divine fruit of all. Jumping across hay bales was a race to win, and camping out in the backyard was the best way to camp. But most of all, I loved rocks and the stories they told.

My rock collection began with a few specimens from my backyard. My parents were supportive of this strange hobby (bless them), and my dad ordered some fancy rocks online for me. I remember the day I received them in the mail. Each was individually marked in plastic bags—volcanic rock, sandstone, quartzite, and obsidian. There were even a few gemstones included. I bought a display case and immediately got to work at labeling them. I even got to display my rock collection at the local library for a month, which was a huge deal to me as a little collector. 

As the years went by, I completely forgot about my rock collection. My stuffed animals and little trinkets were packed away in storage. The raspberry bush was cut down and the backyard tent put away out of sight, forgotten. My excitement about ordinary things was forgotten as well. Adulthood hits, life gets busy, and we forget about this joy we experienced as children over the most mundane things. But I’ve started to walk into this excitement again by living life with my son.

Here in the Mundane

My son makes me see the world for what it could be—our very own wilderness to be explored. He is an adventurer forging his own way, a voyager setting his own sails. He never views our life as ordinary; the life he leads is one of curiosity and open-handedness.

My son’s curiosity toward life brings out the brave within me. With him, I’m able to see the opportunities in front of me for creativity and risk-taking. He helps me to see the life that exists in the ordinary. My excitement over the most ordinary of things is being reawakened. I’m seeing the opportunities in front of me in this simple, stay-at-home-mom life.

For here in the mundane, we are better able to be present in the here and now. It’s in this place of ordinary living that we are given the opportunity to stand steadfast, trusting that God has us here for a purpose.

Here in the mundane, we have the opportunity to dig deeper into what God is doing. By remaining present and fully embracing where we are, we become more aware of the ways that God is moving in our midst. He has given us this opportunity for a reason: To find ways to glorify and serve him right where we are and to become aware of his movement in our lives.

Here in the mundane, we are free to be curious about life as we know it. When life slows down, it can become monotonous and boring. But what if we looked at this slower pace as an opportunity to become curious about this world and its intricacies? A slower paced life is not boring or repetitive, it’s a place to ask questions and find answers to what we’ve always wondered about.

Here in the mundane, we can see with a greater vision, opening our eyes to the magnificence unfolding before us. When we embrace present-moment living, are aware of God’s movement and our place within it, and live curiously, our eyes are opened to the wonder that surrounds us. If our children’s eyes are opened to the beauty and awe within this world–even in something as ordinary as a rock collection or the garbage truck–why are our eyes glued shut? Let’s open our eyes to the opportunities that lay before us.

Living It Out

While I can say that adventure awaits us in these ordinary days, it’s a much different thing to truly live it out. How can we truly live as if there is excitement here in the ordinary? How can we reignite our curiosity about the world around us? Here are the ways that I am learning to thrive amongst the monotony:

I’m shifting my perspective on the ordinary.

Sometimes in life all it takes is a perspective shift to go from viewing life as boring and repetitive to exciting and unexpected. Each day I remind myself of the privilege I have to live this life in this time and place. Many others are not as blessed as I have been to be able to stay at home with my son during this pandemic. Shifting my mindset to one of feeling blessed for this life helps me to find the blessings in the mundane.

I’m choosing to remain curious about life.

My son’s curiosity about the world around him inspires me to remain curious about mine. This is an active choice each day to ask questions of God and look for his answers. It’s a choice to seek understanding while also seeking out opportunities for growth. Everyday I put on an attitude of thankfulness for these days and a spirit of curiosity, open-handedly looking at the world anew daily.

I’m exploring the world around me.

Every little thing is something to be explored. My son is showing me this truth in the way that he sits in awe of the wind blowing wildly through his hair or reaches out and tries to catch it. Exploration is in his nature, and in trying to keep up I’ve become an explorer myself. 

I’m reclaiming excitement about the ordinary.

This sense of joy toward the world was part of my being as a child, and it deserves to be a part of my being now. Choosing to be excited and expectant each morning allows us to find goodness in every single day. I’m choosing to reclaim this joy I once held by looking for adventure at each turn, remembering that the little things matter, and finding joy in these simple days.

A Life Well Lived

Monotony and repetitiveness of life does not mean we have a boring life; it means we have a life that is fully lived-in and well-refined. The repetitive nature of life refines us into people better suited for the journey. And a fully lived-in life is one that has been defined by curiosity, excitement, and exploration.

So this morning, as I watch Wesley get up from playing to crawl over to the window to greet the garbage truck, I thank God that this is our life. As repetitive and ordinary as it is, I know that these days matter. This ministry matters. And there’s freedom in choosing to show up excited, present, and wide-eyed about the opportunities in every single day. It is a privilege and this is a life well lived.

Lost in the Woods: Finding Purpose in the Wildest Seasons of Life

I still remember the feeling of my heart racing as my hopes for this next season fell to shambles. I had no job lined up, no place to live, and no plans other than my online Seminary courses. My belongings were in a storage unit from the summer, and my cats were being housed in a bedroom at my parents’ house. I was living on my sister’s couch out of a suitcase. For many people, this lack of responsibilities and simplicity of life may feel like a dream, but for me, I felt numb and unsure of where to go.

Where was I going to live? How would I afford to even live there?

Why does this feel like I’m lost in the woods?

Threads of An Old Life

Whenever I watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy I always find myself relating to Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry as they return to the Shire after being away. The part at the end of Return of the King where they are in The Green Dragon always moves me.

While life is carrying along around them, they find themselves feeling out of place. They are holding onto this memory that only they will understand together. They then look around the room and then at each other. You can just feel the moment where they are thinking we just experienced a life-changing event, and no one else knows or cares. How do we go on from this? A few moments later we see Frodo at Bag End vocalizing these thoughts: “how do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back?”

The reason these final moments in the trilogy touch me so deeply is because this was how I felt as I walked into the deepest wilderness season of my life. The hobbits had just experienced a difficult adventure and now had to learn how to walk forward from it. I had just experienced a deeply transformative season of my life, yet I was alone in my experience as I returned home. I didn’t have support in the way that the hobbits did as they acclimated back to normal life. Old routines wouldn’t work for this new season. Like Frodo said, I didn’t know how pick up the threads of an old life and move forward with them. 

The Wilderness of Life

As we walk in these wilderness seasons of life, we oftentimes wonder why God is asking us to walk through such harsh conditions. Your wilderness season may be one filled with grief, or it may be filled with doubt. It may be a season where you are walking blindly, unsure of where you are going. You may be between jobs or experiencing infertility. 

Regardless of the defining characteristics of your particular season of wilderness, I believe that God is using this season for a purpose. 

Even in the vast wilderness of life, God’s provision remains.

When the Israelites wandered in the wilderness for forty years, God still provided manna for them to eat.

When various people in the Gospels struggled with blindness, leprosy, and sickness, God provided healing through Jesus and his miracles.

And when humanity struggled with sin and unfaithfulness, God provided a Savior.

God calls us into seasons that are challenging, lonely, and downright wild so that he may be glorified through them. It’s also through wilderness that God beckons us to surrender to him. It’s in these seasons that we learn to trust in his plans and provision. 

But how can we know which way to go in seasons of wilderness? How do we avoid falling into the traps of the enemy during seasons where we feel lost in the woods?

Dangers in the Unknown

Luke 4 tells the story of Jesus fasting and praying in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights. This alone proves his godhood because mortals alone could never survive that long without food or water. But it’s here in the midst of this wilderness that Satan enters and tries to tempt Jesus into forgoing his faithfulness to God. Even amongst temptation, Jesus stood firm and relied on the revealed word of God to sustain him. I believe that this example shows that even us, as finite human beings, can keep our integrity when we face trials in the wilderness.

As we walk in the wildest seasons, we are often tempted to find certainty and comfort in the things of this world instead of fully relying on God and his Word. I’ve found that three things are dangers toward our faith journey as we venture in the unknown: Our emotions try to lead the way, we latch onto anything that gives us comfort, and we try to rush God’s plans for us.

Truth Over Emotions

During my own vast wilderness, my emotions were all over the place. One day I felt confident and surrendered to God’s plans for me, even if I didn’t know what they were. But the next day, I felt alone and uncertain. My emotions would run wild, and the enemy would speak lies over me like you are alone in this and God has abandoned you. 

Our emotions are often trying to alert us to something that is a deeper issue, but they do not speak the whole truth. For me, my emotions made me more aware of my need for God, my struggle with anxiety during the unknown, and my desire to be wanted and accepted. While our emotions can be healthy, they also can lead us down the wrong path if we follow them instead of following God. 

Instead of allowing our emotions to lead the way, we need to remember that although they have a voice, God’s voice should be louder in our lives. I know that this isn’t easy to do. Our emotions are such a raw part of us, and God created us to be people of emotion. However, we have to remember what is true: that Jesus died for us, that we are loved by the Creator of this world, and that we serve a God that fulfills his promises.

Finding Comfort in God

When we allow our emotions to lead us, we often try to find ways to satisfy them. For me, I tend to latch onto anything that gives me a sense of comfort. During my wilderness season, one of those things I latched onto was relationships. For much of my youth, I used relationships as a means to find comfort when I felt I was lacking or wanted reassurance. I see now how unhealthy my view was toward relationships, which is why so many of them were fleeting and never lasted long.

Wandering in the woods, we find that we need something or someone to help us feel at home. What is that for you? Do you tend to latch onto other people? Or do you use food such as sweets or coffee to help you find comfort?

Instead of latching onto things of this world when we feel lost and uncertain, let’s latch tightly onto God. Desires of this world will not satisfy, but God will always be enough to satisfy us. 

Trusting God’s Plans

When our emotions are running wild and we are not able to find comfort within this world, we tend to try to rush our walk through the wilderness. We find ourselves running blindly and trying to make the world turn on our own. But who could actually force God’s plans to come to fruition by racing through life and trying to take the reins on their own?

This may be hard to hear if you are in the midst of a wilderness season, but we have to simply trust the process. God is still working and making a way, even today when we feel caught in a rainstorm or lost in the forest. We have to hold onto trust and have a little faith to make it through. It’s an intentional choice to wake up each morning and believe that God is still working. He is not holding out on us, and He has not forgotten us.

Walking in the Wilderness

While there is no simple step-by-step way to navigate seasons of wilderness, there are a few things that can help us to find purpose within them. These are the actions that I took in my own wilderness, even though I wasn’t fully aware of them at the time:

Do The Next Right Thing

If you’ve seen Frozen 2 you know that part where Anna sings the song by this same name. I know it’s an animated Disney movie, but this part of the movie always makes me tear up a little. Anna is making the active choice to put one foot in front of the other and take small steps even in the midst of her grief. 

In my own season of wilderness, I just did one thing at a time. I found an apartment to move into, I moved my belongings out of a storage unit, and I found myself a job as a barista. I focused on my studies and volunteered in the student ministry and worship team at my church. And when the time was right, I started searching for ministry job openings and found the right opportunity that led to the next season of my life. It was through these small steps of doing the next right thing that I was able to walk confidently in the storm.

Seek Out Community

Most of the time we feel alone in our wildest seasons. We believe that what we are going through is ours to handle and that others can’t relate. One of the biggest lies the enemy tries to speak over us is that we are alone. Yes, we may be physically alone at times, but God is always with us. We are never truly alone. We do, however, need to find good Christian community to come alongside us as we walk through our difficult seasons of life (and the good ones too). Community helps make our walk feel more manageable, as we are being supported and encouraged along the way.

During my wilderness season, I sought out community through a small group. I stayed connected to friends that I had spent my summer with. My new job also gave me opportunities to meet new people and connect with my coworkers. Being involved in my church also helped me to find support from those around me.

Look for Goodness Right Where You Are

It’s often hard to see goodness when our minds are racing and we feel lost in the woods. But if we take time to slow down, catch our breath, and look around us there is so much beauty just asking to be seen by our eyes. There can still be goodness in our wildest seasons if we have eyes to see it.

My own wilderness season was filled with nature walks with my sister’s dog Harper on my days off. One day toward the beginning of this season, I took Harper on a walk to our city’s nature park. We came across a massive growth of sunflowers there. The growth was so thick that it seemed like there was a wall of yellow flowers before us. 

That fall was filled with orange and yellow foliage, and my job brought out the best smells of espresso as I improved my latte art. I excelled in my online courses, and my professor asked if she could use my essay as an example for future classes. Best of all, I met my husband during this season of my life.

Goodness still grows in the wildest parts of our lives.

Be Open To God’s Provision

Within the vast wilderness, it can be difficult to see the ways that God is providing for us. Life feels barren and empty, and our loneliness feels unbearable. But even in that place of desperation, God is providing. We have to open our eyes to the small and sometimes unique ways that He is making a way for us.

As I took one small step after the other, God continued to provide. He gave me an apartment and a job. He gave me those sunflowers that reminded me that beauty still exists. God gave me little joys and wonders when I was lost that reminded me of who he is: a Creator who is still creating beauty today. 

We have to be open to the ways that God is providing, even if it’s in something as small as a really good latte or unexpected wildflowers. He is in all of the small things, and those things display His ability to provide.

Ask Continuously “What Lesson Is God Trying to Teach Me?”

When we come across struggles in life, we often ask “why is God doing this to me?”. I believe that is the wrong question to be asking. Instead, we should be asking “what lesson is God trying to teach me?”. 

Even in wilderness, there are lessons to be learned. What could those be for you?

As you continue to walk in the wilderness or encounter wilderness seasons of life, may you remember that there is purpose within the struggle. There is beauty waiting to be seen. And God will be glorified through it all.

Reclaiming Joy: Looking at the World Through My Son’s Eyes

It’s become our routine of sorts, Wesley and I walking the path along the river every day. Some days we encounter no one, and we enjoy each other’s company. Other days we encounter people curious to get a glimpse of the baby in the stroller, and sometimes they speak blessings over us. 

Most days, Wesley and I stop at a bench by the river. This spot has become one of my favorites as it sits under a large tree, and it’s at just the right angle to see the river while also seeing the people walking past on the trail. 

Today, as I took Wesley out of his stroller and placed him in my lap, the wind picked up. I sat there, eyes closed and felt the gentle breeze pass over us. When I opened my eyes, Wesley was looking up at the leaves of the tree, mouth wide open in a massive grin, dimples deep as ever, with the wind blowing through his hair. I thought to myself, isn’t this what fully embracing this moment looks like?

The parts of these walks of ours that I hold close to my heart aren’t the people complimenting my cute baby or the people who light up when I greet them or when Wesley smiles at them. Instead, it’s moments like these: watching Wesley take in the world, allowing himself to experience it fully without holding back.

A Lost Sense of Wonder

When did we lose our sense of wonder toward the world? Was it when we graduated high school and stepped into our first college class? Or was it when we graduated college and entered into the “real world”? Was it when we went through our first heartbreak?

Becoming a mom has opened my heart to the ways that I am lacking in many ways. My patience is thin some days, I’m too quick to anger, and my love is often selfish. I thank God for the ways that he is transforming me in these areas, but I also thank God for revealing to me that above all of these ways that I fall short, I’ve lost my sense of wonder towards the world. Above all else, my sense of joy has left me, and I don’t know how long it’s been gone.

Just Like Children

When you and I were children, the world was full of endless opportunities. We could be whatever we wanted. We could play school in the basement for hours, jump on the trampoline until we got dizzy, eat raspberries off the bush until our fingers were red, and jump across hay bales when our parents weren’t watching. The world seemed so big and full of wonder back then.

I’m convinced that when we start seeing the world for what it really is—full of brokenness and sin—that we become more stagnant, lukewarm, and cynical. Instead of having childlike faith, we have adult-like doubt. Our questions become more pointed, looking for specific answers instead of a child’s questions that simply seek to learn more about the beauty of the world.

When I watch my son experience the world, I desire to be just like him, taking in everything for the very first time again. Experiencing the gentleness of the breeze, wind blowing through the hair, and the feeling of grass beneath the fingers brings life. It’s joy running wild, being claimed for our hearts, becoming a part of our being.

As Wesley grows and changes and becomes more joyful, fully loving every moment of his life, I’m growing and changing too. My heart yearns for this joy, this peace, this goodness grasped within the hands of my growing boy.

The question is— how do we reclaim joy? How can I have the joy that I see my little boy embodying every single day?

We have to take on the faith of a child. We have to see the world through their eyes.

As I watch my son experience the world, here are the ways that I’m learning to reclaim joy in my own life:

I’m starting to treat the little things like the big things. 

Now that Wesley is getting big enough to start communicating with me, he often does so in some fun ways. He’ll sometimes scrunch his nose or bounce up and down. The babbles are constant, and he’ll straight up scream for fun. He lets me know when he needs something, even if it’s as small as wanting a pacifier or a drink out of my water bottle that I’m using, but he always does it in an extreme way. He makes everything big. He’s just expressive that way.

I’m not saying that I’m going to start being extreme like Wesley, but I am learning to treat all the small things like they’re big just like him. Everything matters in life, and sometimes the small things are the things that give the most meaning.

I’m asking questions to seek to understand the beauty and goodness around me. 

Wesley is just so open to the world and everything in it. He takes it in with his mouth wide open and nose scrunched in the wind. I can tell that he longs to experience this beauty and he wants to know more. He encourages me to look for beauty and goodness in all things and remain curious about them. Through him, I’m learning to ask better questions, not for answers alone, but for a deeper understanding of this world and all within it.

I’m learning that it’s okay to explore and be curious about the world around me. 

Just like Wesley encourages me to seek understanding of this world, he also encourages me to explore. He is constantly on the move, exploring every nook and cranny in our apartment. He tries to squeeze behind the toilet, open cabinets, and get into the cat food. His favorite thing is crawling away from me, but looking back to make sure that I’m “chasing” him. Wesley wants to explore this world, and he is an adventurer of his own sort.

I’m starting to treat everyone like they are the only person in the room. 

If you’ve been around Wesley, you know that he loves people. The person that he is looking at is the only person that matters in that given moment. His entire face lights up, as if he’s wanting to connect with that person in some way.

This is how I aspire to be with people. I’m learning how to focus on the person right in front of me instead of always being distracted or wanting to get a word in. I want to truly listen and invest in the person that’s right in front of me, just like Wesley does.

I’m finding joy in the ordinary. 

Every morning, Wesley is thrilled about the garbage truck arriving to pick up our apartment’s trash. He speeds over to the window and watches the entire time. His eyes are peeled on the dumpster going up and down. Every single morning, the garbage truck driver acknowledges Wesley with a honk and a wave. The ordinary things like laundry, dishes, and cooking can be made joyful if we simply change our perspective about them. To Wesley, these things are full of adventure, and they’re a privilege to partake in. The way he finds joy in the simplest of things reminds me that the ordinary can be joyful if I choose to live like it is.

I’m starting to live more carefree.

Before I got pregnant, I was fairly uptight about everything. But somehow, when I was pregnant I started to feel less particular about things. Part of me feels like Wesley was having an influence on me already while he was in the womb. I’m starting to become less uptight about life, and I allow myself to have fun and be free.

A life that is lived uptight is not freedom. It is good for organization and to keep our families safe, but it is a life that is enslaved to particularity if we are not careful. I’m choosing to live more carefree and curious, fun and adventurous. While part of me will always be particular about certain things, it feels freeing to know that life can be fun when we let go of our need for control. 

I’m learning the art of trust and surrender.

Similarly to learning how to live carefree, I’m learning how to better trust God and surrender to his plans. Many aspects of motherhood caught me completely off guard. Being a mother and watching my son live so open-handedly has reminded me of my necessity for God. I cannot do anything apart from Him. Surrendering to God has lifted so much weight off of my shoulders because I don’t have to be the one making the calls. I can choose to live curiously and carefree, knowing that God has us in the palm of his hand.

Seasons of Preparation: Lessons from a Jalapeño Plant

Over the summer, I was given a jalapeño plant. It was just a small seedling with a few leaves. I had read that jalapeño plants typically won’t produce jalapeños when it’s above 90 degrees. Because I live in Texas, I went into that summer with pretty low expectations for the plant. However, I still watered it twice a week and kept repotting it as it grew, which it did fast! We had a few near misses with it, as the plant toppled over a few times on windy days. I had to start using a large rock to prop up the stem. 

Once it dropped below 80, then 70, I started losing hope for it, but I continued to nurture it. The plants around it continued to bloom, but this one still hadn’t produced any jalapeños. It seemed to want to produce them–it still flowered and tried to grow. But once the flowers opened that would eventually turn into the vegetable, they would shrivel up and fall off. But then one day, when it had dropped to 39 degrees one morning, I noticed two small jalapeños finally breaking through the flowering. 

This plant that I had raised from a little seedling had taken all summer absorbing nutrients, growing tall, and watching the other plants around it flourish had finally had its turn. When the conditions were right and it had done all the preparation it could do, it finally bloomed.

A Season of Preparation

I often feel like this jalapeño plant, watching others around me bloom, yet I’m still waiting for my time in the sun. Just like anyone else, I have dreams and passions, talents and goals. But they have yet to gain traction or turn into something that makes sense.

With my writing, I often feel like I’m behind. I see other people writing book proposals, publishing award-winning books, gaining traction to their blogs, and gaining Instagram followers… All while I’m sitting at home barely finding time to write between taking care of my home and my infant. Let me be clear here: I’m truly not saying this to complain. I absolutely love my life and my child. However, it’s a real tension to feel like it’s not your turn yet but desperately wanting it to be.

Have you felt this tension before? Like you are nurturing your talents and stewarding your giftings well, yet you still feel like it isn’t your turn?

Do you often feel like you’ve been in a perpetual season of waiting?

Are you desperate for your time in the sun, but keep being pushed into the shade?

Maybe you are finding yourself in what I like to call a season of preparation. 

Seasons of Preparation

A season of preparation is the season of life where God is inviting you to absorb, grow, and gain knowledge until the conditions are right for you to bloom. It’s a time where we are preparing the field, spreading seeds within ourselves, and waiting until the sun comes from behind the clouds, beckoning us into flourishing. This is a season imperative to the Christian life, but we often don’t take advantage of it. We treat it like another season of waiting. 

But what if I told you that your season of waiting is also a season of preparation in disguise?

Both seasons of waiting and seasons of preparation ask us to be patient while God is making the way for us. Both require us to trust that God has us right where we are for a purpose. And both seasons invite us into present-moment living and intentionality. 

But seasons of preparation ask us to go deeper yet. Seasons of preparation invite us to pull up a chair and welcome the opportunities to absorb the ways God is moving around and within us. Preparation seasons ask us to focus on how we can be preparing ourselves for where we want or sense God is asking us to go. These seasons can be life changing if embraced properly, yet painful if embraced with bitterness or unwillingness to grow. Or worse yet–preparing for something that God isn’t calling you or leading you into at all.

I like to think of seasons of preparation as God preparing, equipping, and making ready our hearts for what he is calling us into.

Prepare to Flourish

Just like the jalapeño plant continued to grow tall during its preparation for flourishing, God is calling us to do the same. He is calling us to absorb what He has to teach us right here and now. He is inviting us into deeper communion with Him so we can be equipped and prepared for what He has next for us on our journey.

I want to be clear that this season of preparation is not one that is without flourishing in itself. Even the jalapeño plant grew flowers before it grew the jalapeños. But those flowers were not ready to hold the jalapeños so they shriveled. We are the same. God will not allow us to hold what we are not ready to steward well.

Think about that job opportunity you really want. Will God give it to you if you are not yet able to steward that gift well?

What about that book you want to write? God will not give you the book deal if you’re not able to embody the message in your very being. And hey- maybe you haven’t yet experienced what God is wanting your book to be about!

For myself, I’ve written a few blog posts on my old site that gained a little traction. But looking back, God stopped the traction and growth on my blog and social media platforms because I wasn’t ready to steward them well yet. I had yet to become the person God was calling me to be. My heart wasn’t in the right place, and I was too focused on the numbers and followers. I needed a season of preparation to set myself right with God and to absorb the nutrients I would need when my time of blooming did come.

Preparing, Equipping, and Making Ready

Sometimes it’s a bitter pill to swallow that what we’re walking through is a season of preparation. It can be difficult to see within ourselves what needs to change so that we can better steward the things God is calling us into. Oftentimes, God will take away what we think we need most so we can realize that all we need is him. It’s only through him that we’re able to flourish into the best versions of ourselves.

I like to think of seasons of preparation as God preparing, equipping, and making ready our hearts for what he is calling us into. But how do we do that? How can we be faithful in this journey toward personal growth and nurturing?

Here are a few ways that we can open our hearts to what God has for us in seasons of preparation:

Pray that God would reveal the areas in your life that need the most attention.

Have you ever thought about the fact that God wants you to grow so that you can walk into his calling for your life? Ask God what areas of your life need the most attention, and write them down. This exercise may be painful, but it will be helpful toward your growth during this season of preparation. Once God reveals these areas, ask him to reveal ways that you can grow in them.

Find and absorb resources that will act as nutrients for your blooming.

There are numerous resources out there that can help you on your journey. I’ve been absorbing books that speak into the season I’m currently living in, as well as resources that help guide me on my writing journey. What resources are out there that can act as nutrients for you right now?

Focus on your relationship with God first during this season.

During seasons of preparation it can be easy to try to escape, look to others for comfort, or compare ourselves to others and their progress. Instead of looking for an escape, lean into God during this time. Your relationship with God during trying seasons will greatly impact how you leave this season and venture onto the next. Look to God first and trust that he has you here for a purpose.

Discern whether your dreams are his dreams.

Are the dreams that you have in your heart stemming from your own wants and desires or are they truly from God? Practice discernment in this area and test the spirits to know what is of God and what is of your own making. This will take prayer, confiding in others, and deep self-awareness. Take your time as you discern God’s plans for you.

Your time will come. Just like the jalapeño plant sitting out on my patio, now growing several jalapeños, a time of preparation was necessary for its eventual prospering. For now, use this time to learn, ask questions, absorb, and rest. Your time to bloom is coming.